18 Doughty Street : Politics for Adults On Demand
Fabulous new site of which I am most proud to lend the full weight of my celebrity and geo-political significance. In the argot of today's youth, "Check it out."
Feb 28, 2007
Feb 27, 2007
In-Action Heroes in Action
The Lefties continue to make life difficult for we Right Wing bloggers in our attempts to keep pace of the breathtaking indecision and cowardice with which they endeavor to fulfill the wishes of the American electorate who – as you may recall – recently appointed them to clean up this whole nasty “War on Terror” business. No sooner had I penned my crushing denunciation of Senator Biden’s heroic bid to surrender via rescinding the 2002 Joint Resolution to authorize the use of force against Iraq , when the inimitable Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said, “No Joe.” Meanwhile, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi finds herself once again backpedaling from everybody’s favorite jarhead - Representative John Murtha – and his previous attempts at surrender. Were my skills in illustration as masterful as of the pen, I would begin my own In-Action Hero comic book. Instead you’ll simply have to read all about it here. One is again forced to wonder, with all this backpedaling, whither the progress in the “Progressive” party?
Cheers,
Charlie
Feb 19, 2007
Do You Know Your Father?
The occasion of “President’s Day” seems a splendid opportunity for us to once again highlight the devastating effects of the Lefties insidious (and highly effective) campaign to separate entirely the citizenry of The United States from any functional knowledge of the principles and people upon which and whom you all owe nothing less than your lives and fortunes.
What was originally a day set aside to reconnect Americans with the life, vision, and courage of “The Father” of their country (that’s George Washington for you college students – see below), Washington’s birthday (actually February 22) has been obfuscated and diluted into the utterly meaningless “President’s Day.” Thus, true to our modern era of “fairness,” this characterization ensures that not only Washington and Lincoln, but other pillars of the Republic such as Millard Fillmore and James Earl Carter, Jr. can be celebrated by disgruntled postman sitting at home and besotting themselves in front of soft-porn soaps on their well-deserved day off.
(For those of you who would prefer to celebrate Washington’s birthday in a perhaps more appropriate manner, might I recommend the following essay by The Heritage Foundation’s Matthew Spalding, Ph.D., entitled, “The Man Who Would Not Be King.” )
But despair not my lonely patriots; there is action afoot to reverse at least this small aspect of the erasure of American heritage. A Representative Roscoe Bartlett (R-Md.) is proposing a bill that would honor Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln separately -- and by name. Radical notion that.
Petty business you say? So it would seem, until one takes (as I so readily can) the bird’s eye view of the deterioration of America’s knowledge of its original self, and the dire consequences thereof. One peak at the results of the Intercollegiate Studies Institute’s recently published The Coming Crisis in Citizenship and you’ll know something of the cold nauseating dread of which I speak. Following are some highlights to whet your appetite:
- College seniors lack basic knowledge of America's history. More than half, 53.4 percent, could not identify the correct century when the first American colony was established at Jamestown. And 55.4 percent could not recognize Yorktown as the battle that brought the American Revolution to an end (28 percent even thought the Civil War battle at Gettysburg the correct answer).
- College seniors are also ignorant of America's founding documents. Fewer than half, 47.9 percent, recognized that the line "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal," is from the Declaration of Independence. And an overwhelming majority, 72.8 percent, could not correctly identify the source of the idea of "a wall of separation" between church and state.
- More than half of college seniors did not know that the Bill of Rights explicitly prohibits the establishment of an official religion for the United States.
- Nearly half of all college seniors, 49.4 percent, did not know that The Federalist Papers—foundational texts of America's constitutional order—were written in support of the ratification of the U.S. Constitution. Seniors actually scored lower than freshmen on this question by 5.7 percentage points, illustrating negative learning while at college.
- More than 75 percent of college seniors could not identify that the purpose of the Monroe Doctrine was to prevent foreign expansion in the Western Hemisphere.
- Even with their country at war in Iraq, fewer than half of seniors, 45.2 percent, could identify the Baath party as the main source of Saddam Hussein's political support. In fact, 12.2 percent believed that Saddam Hussein found his most reliable supporters in the Communist Party. Almost 5.7 percent chose Israel.
The term, “bleak” comes to mind. Still all is not lost, but remains ours to lose.
Cheers!
Charlie
Feb 15, 2007
All Hail the Mediacracy
In the world of media – heretofore to be referred to as the Mediacracy – perception is reality. Now that a rather nauseating number of free people have abdicated their minds and souls to the Rule of Mediacracy, the axiom directs their “thinking” as well. At issue for all of us then is the persistent conundrum that perception IS NOT, in fact, reality.
This brings us to the much celebrated “credibility gap” with which the Mediacracy is currently all atwitter regarding Bushie’s claim that Iran is arming the so-called insurgency in Iraq. In short the line goes – since Bushie concocted this whole Iraq is a threat thing out of thin air, why in blazes ought we believe him now. “Hmm,” grunt the loyal subjects of the Mediacracy. “Got a point there.” Afterall, that is the perception isn’t it?
We would concur that there is a credibility gap problem plaguing this entire issue. As to precisely whose credibility is actually gapping, however, we most profoundly disagree. First there are those loquacious Lefties in office who so nobly turned tail and skedaddled from their previous and long-held positions on Iraq’s posing a threat to U.S. interests the moment the issue revealed itself as a potential electoral anvil. We refer you to the following assemblage of facts and quotes regarding why Bushie et al opted to invade Iraq. Now of course, the majority of these leaders heroically squawk, “Bushie tricked me!” To which our answer is, “If that were true Senator/Congressman (insert name here), than you are in no way fit for the office you hold.”
Then of course there is the credibility of the Mediacracy (an expression one finds difficult to pen with a straight beak.) As this gap is a chasm far too great to hazard here, we refer you to the experts through whom you ought conduct your own education. Examples of further potentially-perception-altering bits of enlightenment that have barely seen the light of day via the Mediacracy can be found here, here, here, here, here, and here. And we’ve only just begun! Also, for a superb analysis of the facts about the conflict in Iraq – as opposed to spin – I refer you to my fellow blogger Aslan’s blog Logic Times and his ingenious “Rational Thought 101.”
Lastly there is the credibility of “public consensus” as presented by the Mediacracy: the amalgamation of innumerable (and highly scientific) opinion polls conducted every half-hour on the half-hour. The overarching conclusion one must draw from such enquiries is that the “public” regards any and all issues not in their immediate interest with all the mental diligence of a drunken foosball match. Sound ground for policy decision making that, eh?
Perception is not reality. Remember that the next time you are about to be hit by a bus.
Cheers!
Charlie
This brings us to the much celebrated “credibility gap” with which the Mediacracy is currently all atwitter regarding Bushie’s claim that Iran is arming the so-called insurgency in Iraq. In short the line goes – since Bushie concocted this whole Iraq is a threat thing out of thin air, why in blazes ought we believe him now. “Hmm,” grunt the loyal subjects of the Mediacracy. “Got a point there.” Afterall, that is the perception isn’t it?
We would concur that there is a credibility gap problem plaguing this entire issue. As to precisely whose credibility is actually gapping, however, we most profoundly disagree. First there are those loquacious Lefties in office who so nobly turned tail and skedaddled from their previous and long-held positions on Iraq’s posing a threat to U.S. interests the moment the issue revealed itself as a potential electoral anvil. We refer you to the following assemblage of facts and quotes regarding why Bushie et al opted to invade Iraq. Now of course, the majority of these leaders heroically squawk, “Bushie tricked me!” To which our answer is, “If that were true Senator/Congressman (insert name here), than you are in no way fit for the office you hold.”
Then of course there is the credibility of the Mediacracy (an expression one finds difficult to pen with a straight beak.) As this gap is a chasm far too great to hazard here, we refer you to the experts through whom you ought conduct your own education. Examples of further potentially-perception-altering bits of enlightenment that have barely seen the light of day via the Mediacracy can be found here, here, here, here, here, and here. And we’ve only just begun! Also, for a superb analysis of the facts about the conflict in Iraq – as opposed to spin – I refer you to my fellow blogger Aslan’s blog Logic Times and his ingenious “Rational Thought 101.”
Lastly there is the credibility of “public consensus” as presented by the Mediacracy: the amalgamation of innumerable (and highly scientific) opinion polls conducted every half-hour on the half-hour. The overarching conclusion one must draw from such enquiries is that the “public” regards any and all issues not in their immediate interest with all the mental diligence of a drunken foosball match. Sound ground for policy decision making that, eh?
Perception is not reality. Remember that the next time you are about to be hit by a bus.
Cheers!
Charlie
Feb 14, 2007
Godot Still Awaited in D.C.
Not since Irish playwright Samuel Beckett penned his Absurdist Theater classic, “Waiting for Godot” has dialogue of such breathtaking meaninglessness graced the stage as in the current debate on the House floor regarding the non-binding resolution decrying Bushie’s proposed troop surge.
Just down the avenue, one can take in the delicious futility of the never-ending Lewis “Scooter” Libby trial wherein a man is on trial for failing to recall exactly when he told what to who about something that was neither here nor there in the first place.
And all at tax payer expense! As we Brits are so fond of saying, “Good show old boys!”
Just down the avenue, one can take in the delicious futility of the never-ending Lewis “Scooter” Libby trial wherein a man is on trial for failing to recall exactly when he told what to who about something that was neither here nor there in the first place.
And all at tax payer expense! As we Brits are so fond of saying, “Good show old boys!”
Feb 13, 2007
Word for Today
A gentle reminder to those Yanks who have forgotten from whence they came and fancy themselves ravaged by ennui over ongoing unpleasantries in the Middle East…
PERSEVERANCE: NOUN 1. STEADFAST ADHERENCE TO A COURSE OF ACTION, BELIEF OR PURPOSE.
PERSEVERANCE: NOUN 1. STEADFAST ADHERENCE TO A COURSE OF ACTION, BELIEF OR PURPOSE.
Washington - Feb 22/Lincoln - Feb 12
In other words:
"Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.''
- Sir Winston Churchill, October 29, 1941
"Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.''
- Sir Winston Churchill, October 29, 1941
Feb 9, 2007
Wish Granted
In the spirit of bi-rational cooperation, British authorities have been most accommodating of late in granting local Islamobots their deepest wishes by removing the scourge of freedom from their personal agendas. Read here and here.
Oddly, in an uncharacteristic statement of utter and complete irrationability, one of the men arrested and then released by authorities went on to complain about the U.K. being a police state for Muslims. One is forced to wonder, “And precisely what system of government is it that you are advocating?” For clues, I recommend you peruse the following gallery of warm memories from last year’s demonstrations in London over – what was it? – oh yes, cartoons.
Oddly, in an uncharacteristic statement of utter and complete irrationability, one of the men arrested and then released by authorities went on to complain about the U.K. being a police state for Muslims. One is forced to wonder, “And precisely what system of government is it that you are advocating?” For clues, I recommend you peruse the following gallery of warm memories from last year’s demonstrations in London over – what was it? – oh yes, cartoons.
Feb 7, 2007
Happy Birthday Gip!
I shall never forget that blissful afternoon in 1985 I shared with The Ronald and Lady Thatcher at her beach front cottage in Brighton; Maggie feeding me shortbread snackies as I roosted atop The Ronald's heroic left shoulder; he regaling us with hilarious anecdotes about Hollywood fops and deadbeats. Not since my many evenings with Sir Winston had I basked in the company of such courageous and compassionate visionaries, nor have I since - though Bushie, Blair, and I have a had a good go of it or two!
Happy Birthday President Reagan. Though it may not be all that terribly apparent at present, your spirit and words live on!
Gems from The Ronald:
"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problems. Government IS the problem."
"There is a profound moral difference between the use of force for liberation and the use of force for conquest."
"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."
"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was too strong."
"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."
"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."
"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."
"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."
"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
Feb 6, 2007
Recommended Reading for Lefties
Once again it is time for my much ballyhooed Recommended Reading for Lefties. Great gift ideas for the bleary-eyed, muddle-headed, emotional basket case Leftie who has everything (and feels guilty about it.)
National Defense
The Three Little Pigs
Health Care
An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
Immigration
Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose
Environmentalism
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
Popular Culture
Peter Rabbit
Government
Constitution of the United States of America
Happy reading. Enlightenment awaits!
Feb 5, 2007
Hard Times for Pranksters
In their mea culpa for Extraordinary Corporate Boneheadism (ECB), Turner Broadcasting System issued the following statement:
"We understand now that in today's post-Sept. 11 environment, it was reasonable and appropriate for citizens and law enforcement officials to take any perceived threat posed by our light boards very seriously and to respond as they did."
Everyone fervently agrees. Which begs the $2 million dollar question, mightn't the same be said in justification of Bushie's decision to invade
Bush Further Demonstrates Hatred for the Weak and Unrich
Hot off the presses, Bushie's budget is already eliciting shrieks of agony from the Champions of the Frail, Downtrodden, and Utterly Miserable. (Read here.) God forbid, Bush – a Republican – begin behaving like one of the conservatives who put him in office and forward a budget that limits entitlement spending and prioritizes national defense. Those that might instantaneously rebuke such thinking as radical right wing nut-jobism might do well to re-read (more likely, read for the first time) a certain Preamble which delineates, "… PROVIDE for the common defense, PROMOTE the general welfare…" Note the word choice. "Provide" means one thing. "Promote" quite another. One might be so foolish as to conjecture that the President of the
Iran to Save World - Feb. 11
Well I'm certain I am not the only one quaking with anticipation over President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's February 11,2007 announcement of "GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS" Iran has made recently toward the advancement of humankind, not the least of which is a cure for AIDS. No really. See it here. Incidentally, Mr. President will also be announcing at this time Iran’s “inalienable right to access and use nuclear technology.” How exactly he intends to demonstrate this right is not entirely clear, but let’s just hope it doesn’t involve mushroom clouds and incinerating human flesh. But, of course, undoubtedly by “nuclear technology” Mr. President means merely his nation’s right to power their dishwashers and blow dryers with environmentally-friendly nuclear energy – which stands to reason in one of the most oil-rich nations on the planet. Nothing to fret about here.
Other remarkable Iranian “technological and medical breakthroughs” to be announced on the 11th (but not mentioned in the above article) include:
- Flying cars
- “Tsunami-B-Gone” automated tsunami prevention and protection system
- A pre-fabricated moon base (ready for lift off!)
- One-size fits all suicide bomb-vests
- The solution to world poverty
- A personal sea water conversion device – safe and delicious drinking water anytime, anywhere
- The “Kyotomatic” Global Climate moderating Unit
- A battery powered chimp which crashes dime-sized cymbals together
- AND SO MUCH MORE!
Feb 3, 2007
Transcript of my interview with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran
Churchill's Parrot (CP): President Ahmadinejad, how do you respond to charges that you are a wild-eyed, suicidal, Islamaniac, nutwhistle?
Ahmadinejad (A): I am not aware of any one referring to me in this way.
CP: Well I just did.
A: Then I would say you are wrong.
CP: Right. So the Holocaust never happened?
A: It is a fiction manufactured by Zionist sympathizers.
CP: Then I was right.
A: About what?
CP: You are a wild-eyed, suicidal, Islamaniac, nutwhistle. President Ahmadinejad - may I call you Ahmad?
A: No.
CP: May I call you, "Mahma?"
A: No.
CP: May I call you "late for dinejad?"
A: Who is this bird and why did I agree to be interviewed by it?
CP: Oh lighten up you (EXPLETIVE) crackpot, I haven't even gotten started yet. So tell me, do things taste salty to you?
A: I don't know what you are talking about.
CP: What exactly are your plans for the real estate currently known as "Israel" once you clear it of all those pesky Jews?
A: Israel is an illegal state and deserves to be purged from our sacred land.
CP: Right, and then you'll do what? Build resorts? Theme parks? Qur'an Camps for the kids? You've done so well with the rest of the Middle East.
A: We will cleanse the land and make it pure for Islam.
CP: Sounds like heaven on Earth - aside from the car bombs, beheadings, and kidnappings and that.
A: We do what we must.
CP: And you do it quite well might I say. Incidently, do you feel as though there is a tight metal band around your head?
A: Excuse me?
CP: So you're the 12th Imam and endeavor to bring about the end of the world as we know it?
A: There are prophecies in which we all play a role.
CP: Have you done much market research on this plan? Seems to me it's not all that popular amongst thinking people.
A: It is not the whim of people but the will of God I obey.
CP: Right. And it makes perfect sense that the Creator would want to obliterate His entire creation because His creatures can't seem to agree on how to spell His name?
A: When the Holy has been made unholy by infidels, all must be cleansed.
CP: I whole heartedly agree and I think a really great place to start would be your teeth. Have you brushed this morning? This week? Anytime in the last ...
A: THAT'S IT! (President Ahmadinejad storms out of the room shouting unintelligibles in Arabic.)
FAQs
1. Is it true you are a fraud?
No. Lies. Bloody lies. News accounts attesting to my NOT actually being or ever having been Churchill's parrot (as seen here, here, here, and heard here) are utter and complete rubbish. Naturally the media – *muddle headed leftist potheads they are - have bulloxed the whole thing up. As for Lady Soames, Sir Winston's daughter, well let's just say there are a good many things Mr. Prime Minister kept from his family, his relationship with me and our frequent discussions regarding geo-political concerns over brandy and cigars being among them.
2. Why do you appear differently in various photographs?
I rather fancy donning alternative plumage depending on my mood and the affair at hand. For instance in the following photograph, I went with my Classic Cockatoo number.
Often for larger media events and appearances I don my Dress Greens as it seems folks are more partial to parrots of color.
But in private or just larking about I appear as my self, a standard issue African Grey parrot, humbly trying to save Western Civilization from utter and complete annihilation.
3. Why does a British parrot write about the U.S.A.?
Those of us radical enough to adhere to a fringe concept known as "history" may recall that there has always existed a rather intimate relationship between Mother England and her rambunctious child prodigy the United States of America.
Now that it appears Mother England (authoress of the Magna Carta) is past the point of no return in her enfeebled dotage - wallowing ever deeper into delirium and socialist claptrap - there remains but one able-bodied advocate for the cause of human liberty. France? (EXPLETIVE) no! Australia? Close, but no. Canada? Not bloody likely. I am, of course, referring to the United States of America.
Thus I choose to direct the enirety of my massive intellect, worldwide celebrity, and cheeky wit to support this truly last best hope of mankind.
4. What big plans have you got for the future Charlie?
Well currently, I have my Blognician - Manilla Folders - working on our fully-loaded website, which at his rate of accomplishment ought be ready sometime in the fall of 2019. (Bloody Third Worlders. All the work ethic of wet sand!) Nonetheless, with a bit of prodding - violence if necessary - we expect to have it up soon and fabulously! I am also entering negotiations to star as myself in a full-length motion picture. (If anyone cares to actually enter into these negotiations with me please contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.)
If that gets bulloxed up than I should think I at least rate a bloody kid's show, eh?
5. Where can I get Churchill's Parrot products and merchandise?
Again, once Manilla can FIND THE TIME to actually get it up as it were, our ChurchillsParrot.com website will feature a number of FAB-U-LOUS products for you people to choose from: podcasts, Churchill's Parrot apparel, action figures, and male enhancement products. I shall also feature e-book versions of my two books currently in the works - America for (EXPLETIVE) Idiots and Hatred of America: A Love Story. All products will be hand-crafted by the most highly trained and experienced artisans in the sweat shop circuit and made from the finest quality materials remotest Indonesia has to offer.
IN THE MEANTIME, so as not to leave my fans utterly without gratification, I have graciously condescended to allow you to print out my official Churchill's Parrot bumper sticker ABSOLUTLEY FREE so that you might affix it to the bumper of your choice and demonstrate your support and admiration. Simply scroll down to the bottom of this or any page and there you are.
* Media representatives, that whole "muddle headed leftist potheads" thing, take no offense. A little red meat for my fan base, you understand. Please know that I am available for interviews and appearances at any time. Contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears, at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.
Feb 2, 2007
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
“We must never cease to proclaim in fearless tones the great principles of freedom and the rights of man which are the joint inheritance of the English-speaking world and which through Magna Carta, the Bill of Rights, the Habeas Corpus, trial by jury, and the English common law find their most famous expression in the American Declaration of Independence.”- Sir Winston Churchill - March 5, 1946
Hear Charlie declare his STATEMENT OF PUPOSE in "person"
Gabcast! STATEMENT OF PURPOSE #1
For more than a quarter of the 20th century, I served as proud and loyal companion to one of the greatest men in modern history - Sir Winston Churchill. Read all about it here, here, and here! Today, with the very existence of Western civilization hanging in the balance due to shriveling moral character internally and Jihadi wing bats externally, we need Sir Winston's clarity of vision, strength of character, and hardiness of soul more than ever. Unfortunately he's dead, and all you've got is me. Good bloody luck! But enough about me. For more about me, see "About Me."
FINEST HOUR!
Sir Winston and I (in Classic Cockatoo) shortly after learning Hitler had put a bullet through his syphilis addled brain.
FAQs
1. Is it true you are a fraud?
No. Lies. Bloody lies. News accounts attesting to my NOT actually being or ever having been Churchill's parrot (as seen here, here, here, and heard here) are utter and complete rubbish. Naturally the media – *muddle headed leftist potheads they are - have bulloxed the whole thing up. As for Lady Soames, Sir Winston's daughter, well let's just say there are a good many things Mr. Prime Minister kept from his family, his relationship with me and our frequent discussions regarding geo-political concerns over brandy and cigars being among them.
2. Why do you appear differently in various photographs?
I rather fancy donning alternative plumage depending on my mood and the affair at hand. For instance in the above photo with Sir Winston , I went with my Classic Cockatoo number. Often for larger media events and appearances I don my Dress Greens as it seems folks are more partial to parrots of color. But in private or just larking about I appear as my self, a standard issue African Grey parrot, humbly trying to save Western Civilization from utter and complete annihilation. (Photographic accompaniment to the above can be found in the second entry of February 3, 2007. You'll no doubt want to be viewing that. )
3. Why does a British parrot write about the U.S.A.?
Those of us radical enough to adhere to a fringe concept known as "history" may recall that there has always existed a rather intimate relationship between Mother England and her rambunctious child prodigy the United States of America.
Now that it appears Mother England (authoress of the Magna Carta) is past the point of no return in her enfeebled dotage - wallowing ever deeper into delirium and socialist claptrap - there remains but one able-bodied advocate for the cause of human liberty. France? (EXPLETIVE) no! Australia? Close, but no. Canada? Not bloody likely. I am, of course, referring to the United States of America.
Thus I choose to direct the enirety of my massive intellect, worldwide celebrity, and cheeky wit to support this truly last best hope of mankind.
4. What big plans have you got for the future Charlie?
Well currently, I have my Blognician - Manilla Folders - working on our fully-loaded website, which at his rate of accomplishment ought be ready sometime in the fall of 2019. (Bloody Third Worlders. All the work ethic of wet sand!) Nonetheless, with a bit of prodding - violence if necessary - we expect to have it up soon and fabulously! I am also entering negotiations to star as myself in a full-length motion picture. (If anyone cares to actually enter into these negotiations with me please contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.) If that gets bulloxed up than I should think I at least rate a bloody kid's show, eh?
5. Where can I get Churchill's Parrot products and merchandise?
Again, once Manilla can FIND THE TIME to actually get it up as it were, our ChurchillsParrot.com website will feature a number of FAB-U-LOUS products for you people to choose from: podcasts, Churchill's Parrot apparel, action figures, and male enhancement products. I shall also feature e-book versions of my two books currently in the works - America for (EXPLETIVE) Idiots and Hatred of America: A Love Story. All products will be hand-crafted by the most highly trained and experienced artisans in the sweat shop circuit and made from the finest quality materials remotest Indonesia has to offer. IN THE MEANTIME, so as not to leave my fans utterly without gratification, I have graciously condescended to allow you to print out my official Churchill's Parrot bumper sticker ABSOLUTLEY FREE so that you might affix it to the bumper of your choice and demonstrate your support and admiration. Simply scroll down to the bottom of this or any page and there you are.
* Media representatives, that whole "muddle headed leftist potheads" thing, take no offense. A little red meat for my fan base, you understand. Please know that I am available for interviews and appearances at any time. Contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears, at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.
Hear Charlie declare his STATEMENT OF PUPOSE in "person"
Gabcast! STATEMENT OF PURPOSE #1
For more than a quarter of the 20th century, I served as proud and loyal companion to one of the greatest men in modern history - Sir Winston Churchill. Read all about it here, here, and here! Today, with the very existence of Western civilization hanging in the balance due to shriveling moral character internally and Jihadi wing bats externally, we need Sir Winston's clarity of vision, strength of character, and hardiness of soul more than ever. Unfortunately he's dead, and all you've got is me. Good bloody luck! But enough about me. For more about me, see "About Me."
FINEST HOUR!
Sir Winston and I (in Classic Cockatoo) shortly after learning Hitler had put a bullet through his syphilis addled brain.
FAQs
1. Is it true you are a fraud?
No. Lies. Bloody lies. News accounts attesting to my NOT actually being or ever having been Churchill's parrot (as seen here, here, here, and heard here) are utter and complete rubbish. Naturally the media – *muddle headed leftist potheads they are - have bulloxed the whole thing up. As for Lady Soames, Sir Winston's daughter, well let's just say there are a good many things Mr. Prime Minister kept from his family, his relationship with me and our frequent discussions regarding geo-political concerns over brandy and cigars being among them.
2. Why do you appear differently in various photographs?
I rather fancy donning alternative plumage depending on my mood and the affair at hand. For instance in the above photo with Sir Winston , I went with my Classic Cockatoo number. Often for larger media events and appearances I don my Dress Greens as it seems folks are more partial to parrots of color. But in private or just larking about I appear as my self, a standard issue African Grey parrot, humbly trying to save Western Civilization from utter and complete annihilation. (Photographic accompaniment to the above can be found in the second entry of February 3, 2007. You'll no doubt want to be viewing that. )
3. Why does a British parrot write about the U.S.A.?
Those of us radical enough to adhere to a fringe concept known as "history" may recall that there has always existed a rather intimate relationship between Mother England and her rambunctious child prodigy the United States of America.
Now that it appears Mother England (authoress of the Magna Carta) is past the point of no return in her enfeebled dotage - wallowing ever deeper into delirium and socialist claptrap - there remains but one able-bodied advocate for the cause of human liberty. France? (EXPLETIVE) no! Australia? Close, but no. Canada? Not bloody likely. I am, of course, referring to the United States of America.
Thus I choose to direct the enirety of my massive intellect, worldwide celebrity, and cheeky wit to support this truly last best hope of mankind.
4. What big plans have you got for the future Charlie?
Well currently, I have my Blognician - Manilla Folders - working on our fully-loaded website, which at his rate of accomplishment ought be ready sometime in the fall of 2019. (Bloody Third Worlders. All the work ethic of wet sand!) Nonetheless, with a bit of prodding - violence if necessary - we expect to have it up soon and fabulously! I am also entering negotiations to star as myself in a full-length motion picture. (If anyone cares to actually enter into these negotiations with me please contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.) If that gets bulloxed up than I should think I at least rate a bloody kid's show, eh?
5. Where can I get Churchill's Parrot products and merchandise?
Again, once Manilla can FIND THE TIME to actually get it up as it were, our ChurchillsParrot.com website will feature a number of FAB-U-LOUS products for you people to choose from: podcasts, Churchill's Parrot apparel, action figures, and male enhancement products. I shall also feature e-book versions of my two books currently in the works - America for (EXPLETIVE) Idiots and Hatred of America: A Love Story. All products will be hand-crafted by the most highly trained and experienced artisans in the sweat shop circuit and made from the finest quality materials remotest Indonesia has to offer. IN THE MEANTIME, so as not to leave my fans utterly without gratification, I have graciously condescended to allow you to print out my official Churchill's Parrot bumper sticker ABSOLUTLEY FREE so that you might affix it to the bumper of your choice and demonstrate your support and admiration. Simply scroll down to the bottom of this or any page and there you are.
* Media representatives, that whole "muddle headed leftist potheads" thing, take no offense. A little red meat for my fan base, you understand. Please know that I am available for interviews and appearances at any time. Contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears, at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.
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