The British Guide to National Ruin

Many are the instances where adult children pointedly eschew the profligate ways of their of their drunken and wayward parents. In his fascinating analysis, “The Decline of Britain: A Cautionary Tale for America,” Dr. Robin Harris, former policy advisor to Prime Minister to Margaret Thatcher and Director of the Conservative Party Research Department, urges America to do just that: observe and reject the socialism which has rendered old Mother England an economic, political, and social basket case.

“Consanguinity,” (common ancestry for those who are NOT George Will) “works both ways,” advises Dr. Harris. “What works in one of our countries has been shown to work in the other. But what fails in one country also fails in the other, and in crucial respects Britain is now failing. The country’s palpable decline from its prosperity and security of just two decades ago constitutes an awful but, if intelligently observed, timely and useful warning to America.”

Harris traces the “remarkable, but also indisputable” parallels of American and British economic and political cycles over the past forty years: regulation and taxation under Nixon and Heath; near bankruptcy under Carter and Callaghan; rebirth and prosperity with Reagan and Thatcher; the watered-down Conservatism of Bush and Major; the triangulation of Clinton and Blair, the War on Terror vigor of Bush and Blair; and now the lunge toward Marxism under Obama and Brown.

What has catapulted Britain into the lead in terms of economic disaster is her legacy of socialism, the roots of which Dr. Harris traces to World War Two.

“The Second World War was arguably the decisive event in the history of British collectivism. It increased public expenditure, taxation, and controls to previously unimaginable levels. The Left argued that total planning, which allegedly had won the war, could also secure universal prosperity. Churchill’s coalition wartime government, bowing to the prevailing ethos, laid foundations for the massive economic and social interventions that were later implemented by the postwar Labour government.”

Presaging Mr. Rahm Emanuel, Clement Attlee and crew let not the very good crisis of the war go to waste. They promised their shell-shocked and war-weary nation heaven on Earth and, having won a landslide victory as a result, implemented a welfare state agenda that nationalized the majority of the economy and made the citizenry dependent on government forever more. Bemused, alienated, and himself more than exhausted, Sir Winston could only watch from the back benches as his beloved Britain succumbed to the siren song of socialism. Later he, and even Lady Thatcher, could steer Britain toward free-market prosperity and credible self-defense, only within the confines of a thoroughly entrenched welfare state.

“Even the Thatcher years—again, despite Mrs. Thatcher’s own objections to the consensus—hardly shook the assumptions established at this time (1945) about what government was about.”

And herein lies the core of Harris’s warning to America: DO NOT let socialism into your home. It is a guest that will never leave!

“Britain’s experience offers a serious long-term warning because it shows how difficult it is for another Anglo–Saxon country to escape the legacy of socialism once that ideology becomes entrenched in attitudes and institutions.”

Harris observes that the Tea party movement is a distinctly and delightfully American phenomenon, which indicates the unlikelihood of socialism becoming entrenched in American attitudes. This is happy reaffirmation for those of us who nearly despaired one year ago that the Americans too had become inextricably infatuated by the wiles of the Nanny State. Where America is most vulnerable, however, is in her lack of focus and vigilance in ensuring that collectivist policies do not overwhelm her institutions.

“For the British, the danger is that they revert to collectivism by historically conditioned reflex,” writes Harris. “For Americans, the risk is different but real: It is, as Tocqueville warned, that they may gently and unwittingly slip into it.”

Alas, many of the Americans now crying out against the direction their nation is heading were the very same who voted-in the current occupants of the Executive and Legislative branches of their government. What were they thinking? They were not thinking. This is a dangerous game, for socialism has, in fact, made significant inroads into American institutions. Colleges and Universities, churches and synagogues, the news media, the entertainment industry, philanthropic foundations, even corporations are infested with collectivist thought, expressed through sham programs and initiatives bearing the banners of “diversity”, “sustainability”, and “social justice.”

Only now is the average American awakening to the malevolence these seemingly innocuous niceties possess. We must hasten this awakening. As more and more institutions surrender to collectivist pressure, the nearer to impossible it becomes to effectively oppose the trend, socially as well as politically.

“Conservative timidity is also understandable in straightforward electoral terms because of the sheer size of the public sector and the number of individual voters who are dependent in one way or another on public spending,” explains Harris. In other words, eventually the national motto becomes, if you can’t beat them, join them. Witness Britain’s “Conservative” Party.

The excesses of British government ignited the American Revolution, galvanizing the principles of limited government, no taxation without representation, and the rule of law in the hearts and minds of the American people. We join Dr. Harris and many others who continue to see the United States as the last best hope of mankind in hopes that, by her tragic example, Britain may do so once again.

Cheers,

Charlie

Divine Intervention?

On his radio program, Mr. Michael Medved recently set about cataloguing instances in American history where the hand of God seemed particularly at work. There was the unassailable George Washington, unscathed through innumerable battles, whose preternatural invulnerability to harm was legendary even to Indian chief’s who fought him in the French and Indian War. There was the near simultaneous demise of Messrs Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, authors of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1836, the 50^th anniversary of the signing of that glorious testament. There were the failed firearms of Andrew Jackson’s would be assassin, later found to be in perfect working order. Many such examples exist, suggesting, as Mr. Medved (and others) so convincingly argue, that Providence has played a significant role in guiding the United States of America to her destiny as the champion of human liberty in the world.

We wonder if Mr. Scott Brown’s impossible ascent to the Senate is not another such instance? Skeptics, naysayers, and devout Liberals will scoff, but consider the circumstances leading up to this. This was the seat of Senator Ted Kennedy; Senator Ted Kennedy whose most ardent aspiration throughout his career was the establishment of socialized medicine in America. His sudden and tragic death last year was seen by most as a boost, not a bane to that cause. Yet instead, the vacancy Mr. Kennedy left became the vacuum which sucked in and galvanized the wrath of the American people toward that very policy and the runaway-train government seeking to ram it through. Remarkable!

Does the Almighty make a habit of inserting Himself into petty partisan politics? We’re guessing, no. But to those with eyes to see and ears to hear, there is nothing petty about this particular policy. The very essence of the American experiment – politically, economically, spiritually – is at stake. So-called “health care reform” is but the football with which this colossal battle between collectivism and classical liberalism is being waged. The outcome will have profound consequences to both American and human history.

Enter Mr. Brown, stage right, an unknown moderate-Republican Senator in an overwhelmingly Democratic state, assuming the throne of the Liberal Left itself. As a result, their crowning agenda item, Mr. Kennedy’s dying wish, may be thwarted once and for all.

Believe as you wish, but this Liberty-loving bird is bowing his head and uttering repeatedly, “Thank you Lord!”

Cheers,

Charlie

High Marx for Mr. Obama

“We are just five days away from fundamentally transforming America!”
- President Barack Obama, October 31, 2008

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In his recent tête-à-tête with Oprah Winfrey (the original BIG O), President Barack Obama awarded himself the grade of B+ for his performance after nearly a year in office. Naturally, those on the Right disagree and award Barry an F. Somewhat surprisingly, those to the Left are not much more generous in their assessment.

We submit, however, that would-be graders, both right and left, are applying the wrong standard in grading Mr. Obama. This is understandable. For 220 years, presidents of The United States have performed, more or less, according to a common motivation: to win re-election and their place in history by leaving the nation more prosperous, powerful, and peaceful than it was when they assumed office. Many have failed in this regard, of course, but this was due to incompetence. Certainly were Barack Obama performing according to this same motivation he should be given a grade of F. The country is far less prosperous, increasingly less powerful, and in danger of becoming much less peaceful at this point in his tenure.

But Barack Obama does not share the same motivations as his predecessors and he is not incompetent. He is a radical Marxist who understands well that in order to successfully transform a free market republic he must first facilitate the collapse of its existing socio-economic order. And by this standard, it is our contention, Barry is doing an outstanding job.

He has accelerated the debauchment of American currency; he has committed Her to irrecoverable debt; he has impaired Her free markets with myriad regulation; he has handicapped Her military with impossible rules of engagement; he has befuddled and demoralized Her intelligence gathering operations; he has made Her economy vastly more dependent upon federal whim; and he has signaled to the world that he will not defend Her interest so much as negotiate them away.

Why? Does Barack Obama hate America? No. He possesses, however, a radically different idea of what America is supposed to be. His is the Jeremiah Wright-Bill Ayers-Howard Zinn-Saul Alinsky-Richard Cloward-Frances Fox Piven vision of America: a nation that has grown too rich and too powerful and done so primarily through the exploitation of the disadvantaged and the extortion of the powerless. In the name of justice, therefore, such a polity must be made to pay restitution, to make amends, to be humbled by any means necessary, so that it cannot and will not abuse its fellow nations and citizens of the world ever again.

It is descriptive, not pejorative, to identify this mindset and worldview as Marxist, for indeed Marx’s fundamental assertion was that the so-called free market thrives only through the exploitation of the worker and is thus, at its core, evil. In his mind, therefore, Mr. Obama is doing what is right, just, and necessary in making a shambles of the American socio-economic order. And in this he is doing a right bang-up job! We refer you to the chart illustrated above from a liberal professor of economics at a major Midwestern University.

Americans must understand that this is not incompetence, it is a promise kept: the fundamental transformation of America, Phase One. The sooner the majority realizes this, the more vehemently they will – we continue to hope – actively reject it.

Cheers,

Charlie

So we have won after all

On 7, December 1941, upon learning of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Sir Winston Churchill declared, “So we have won after all.” Lacking his prescience and deep respect for the character of the American people, many around him were perplexed by the statement. To Sir Winston, however, it was immediately obvious that the Japanese had over-played their hand and awakened their worst nightmare. He was well aware that years of intense struggle and pain lay ahead. But in his lion heart he knew that, in the end, the American will, sufficiently motivated, would prevail over the enemies of freedom.

On 7, December 2009, upon learning of the Leftist attack on their economy, character, intelligence, and future, the American people are similarly awakened. Fraudulent stimulus, socialist health care proposals, and the climate change scam utterly exposed as such have shaken the electorate to its core and stirred a reverence for first principles as has not been seen in many a decade. Even prominent Democrats are warning the administration to change direction. Indeed the most potent antidote for Leftism is its being put into practice.

And yet, there remains intense struggle and pain ahead. Those leading the attack are not motivated by traditional political impetus. The mere threat of losing office deters them not.

As Mr. Obama jets off to Copenhagen to socialize with socialists, communists, anarchists, and shysters from every corner of the globe, seeking to further obligate the United States in a trillion dollar extortion racket while she is already imperiled by 10.2% unemployment and unbearable debt, it is becoming apparent that this is no mere liberal democrat in the presidency. This is a leader who seeks to break the United States as she is, force her to her knees, and then reclaim her on entirely new terms.

The failing policies of the Obama administration destroying the United States economy and the Democratic party are not the product of political incompetence. They are the deliberate application of a strategy; less Jimmy Carter and more Vladimir Lenin. Of course we are referring to the Cloward and Priven Strategy. To Conservatives, this in no news at all. To others (“Independents”) this is the bitter realization of what Captain Hope n’ Change meant when he said he intends to “fundamentally change America.” Had they been paying attention, they would not have voted for this. Had they been paying attention, they would not have voted for Obama! Bit late for all that now. What’s done is done and, in truth, the worst is yet to come.

Nonetheless we have more hope than at any point in the last 12 months. The Left has overplayed its hand and awakened their worst nightmare: a genuine appreciation in the hearts and minds of the American people for the principles upon which their nation was founded.

America will suffer for her dalliance with Marxism. She may even sustain some irreparable damage. But we know that, in the end, she will prevail, yet again, against the enemies of freedom.

And so, Liberty Lovers, we have won after all!

Cheers,

Charlie

The Cancer of Progressivism in America

Congressional Gang Rape

Thus spake Czar Hope and Change to his minions in Congress to rally their votes for health care reform,

“Does anybody think that the teabag, anti-government people are going to support them if they bring down

health care? All it will do is confuse and dispirit [Democratic voters] and it will encourage the extremists.”

Henry the 5th this is not. "Teabag, anti-government people?" "Extremists?" A little more contempt please, Mr. President, for you are addressing more than half of the nation here. And pray tell, how exactly does this rhetoric fit into the "Post-Partisan" lexicon?

As obnoxious and shrill as the Iraq war protesters became, we do not recall President George W. Bush ever deriding them in this fashion. What does that say about the man? And what does the above say about our current Commander in Chief as well as those soulless ghouls who carry out his bidding?

The Heritage Foundation explains that November 7's gang rape wrought a $2.6 trillion bill which raises taxes by $700 billion on a nation which already faces record deficits and 10.2% unemployment, and massively expands a Medicaid program that currently provides substandard reimbursement rates, is bankrupting states, and is bankrupt itself. Now that's something to celebrate, presuming the destruction of the Great Republic is your aim.

Throughout all this one is forced to ask continually, "why?" The 47 million uninsured? Please even The Obama Himself dared not employ that fiction in his last address to the nation regarding health care. Because major organizations such as the American Medical Association, AARP, and major pharmaceutical companies endorse it? As Mr. Dick Morris and friends point out, this support was bought and paid for (extorted?) with tax-payer money long ago, and each of these players are beginning to realize they have been had; (witness The Health Insurance Industry) a realization the Bishops and the Catholic Health Association will soon come to when the Stupak amendment is exposed as pure vapor.

It is little wonder that the chorus declaring the American Democratic Party an organized crime syndicate disguised as a political party is growing. The only question now is how much looting of American treasure - fiscal and moral, present and future - will they accomplish in the meantime?

Cheers,

Charlie

Trick or Treat – A Nightmare for Westerners

Dressed as Witch, Patriot, Hobo, and Ghost, the wee ones sheepishly approach the awesome house. Everyone in the neighborhood had told them what incredible treats were provided there. They ring the bell. The door opens slowly.

“Trick or treat,” plead the little beggars.

A silent and powerful hand reaches forth and drops curiosities into open sacks: Stimulus, reduced carbon emissions, free health care, and a fair media.

Trick or treat, wonder the wanders. Are these gifts what they seem? Or are they something else, something that exacts a price their little minds cannot quite recall?

“Trick!” cry Ghost and Patriot. “Treat!” counter Hobo and Witch. They quarrel, shattering the camaraderie that helped make this night so magic.

A sound interrupts them. They stop and listen. Laughter. A single laugh, high, mocking, and impossibly loud, coming from inside the awesome house.

Cold. Witch, Patriot, Hobo, and Ghost shiver violently and suddenly realize they are no longer in costume. In fact they are completely naked. The wintry wind nearly steals their treat sacks, and they find that they are now empty: bereft not only of the offerings of the awesome house, but of all gains they had made thus far.

The laugh grows louder.

They run, each to their homes, but their homes are empty, as if no one had ever lived there at all. Neighbors, friends, strangers, all houses are now dark and empty but one – the awesome house.

Cold, hungry, and tired the little ones approach the awesome house again – without mirth, without mischief, without choice. They ring the bell. The door opens slowly. They stand shivering without speaking. The silent and powerful hand reaches forth and presents each of them a massive candied apple, then ushers them inside.

The house is warm and spacious. Everyone from the neighborhood is there but no one speaks. All are naked and cowering, gnawing voraciously on massive candied apples. Witch, Patriot, Hobo, and Ghost do likewise, the intense sweetness making their empty stomachs sick. But there is nothing else to eat. There is nothing else to do. There is no where else to go.

Another door opens. The silent and powerful hand beckons. The naked mass obeys and passes through the door and down a massive stairway. Down, down, down, the darkness grows thicker as a stench begins to rise. They are down now, at last, on solid ground. Their eyes adjust to the living darkness and they begin to see – more. More naked people, hundreds of them, thousands, millions, not dead but hardly living, stretching back to the beginning of history, an ocean of humanity standing silently, miserably, resignedly.

Terror rises in the minds and throats of Witch, Patriot, Hobo, and Ghost. They turn to run and scream, but they cannot, there are too many bodies in their way and their voices too are gone. They struggle futilely against the herd.

The high, mocking laugh returns from atop the massive stairway. Witch, Patriot, Hobo, and Ghost look up to see the silhouette of a man against the open basement door. He turns, climbs the last few steps back upstairs, and slams the door.

The darkness takes over now and obliterates all distinction between Witch, Patriot, Hobo, and Ghost; those they once called neighbors; and the ocean of silent humanity.

Patriot summons all his strength and utters one final word into the suffocating blackness: “Trick!”

Cheers,

Charlie

P.S. Our apologies to Mr. Bradbury.

September 11, 2009 - The Apex of the Hangover

There ought to be a word for it. Perhaps there is and we are unaware? That excruciating instant during a hangover when the fog has lifted just enough that for the first time, and with stomach-lurching clarity, one appreciates the full folly and recklessness of the previous evening’s activities.

We suspect, and indeed hope, that September 11, 2009 proves just such a moment for the citizens of the United States.

America’s hangover from its binging on Leftism began, it would seem, mid-summer as the Obama administration and its obedient Congress vowed to force their health care proposals down the throats of the people, immediately following prodigious tankard-loads of “Stimulus” and Cap and Trade.

At that point, even the celebrated independents and moderates (i.e. those who normally don’t give a monkey’s about politics, history, or current affairs) became aware of a nauseating churn in their bellies and a painful ringing in their ears. They too had had enough. Many are beginning to realize the very real threat to their liberty the aforementioned measures constitute, and are fueled by a palpable sense that, once lost, that liberty shall never be regained.

This is all quite positive. And yet, we remain uneasy. For the Last Best Hope of Mankind had another such awakening just eight short years ago, far more violent and acute than this. For many, September 11, 2001 was electro-shock therapy, jolting them out of the delusion that America was inevitable, untouchable, and indestructible. They began, as had their forefathers, to guard their liberty jealously and hold the principles upon which their great nation was founded with reverence.

For too many others, it would seem, the single most horrific attack on the American homeland was just another tragedy, like a hurricane or an auto pileup, to be cleaned-up , litigated, and forgotten.

Now, as the stench of insidious, demoralizing, enervating collectivism rises throughout the fruited plain, the citizenry is again reacting with a kind of instinctual rebellion and righteous anger against the enemy – this one domestic rather than foreign.

Will this rebellion last? Will it hold? Will it be sufficient to concretize once and for all the revolutionary vision of the Founders – itself the culmination of centuries’ cultivation of the concept of ordered Liberty – in the hearts and minds of all Americans?

Not likely. Perhaps it shouldn’t. Perhaps mankind’s ceaseless flirtation with self-enslavement is more a spiritual dynamic than political, to be conquered by each individual soul for its own reasons and in its own way.

But we can dream can’t we? As Britain, Europe, and the majority of the world order yet another round at the bar of collectivist statism, it would be some measure of hope to know the United States remains out there somewhere, sober and shrewd, the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Cheers,

Charlie

Reading by the Light of Perverted Science

But if we fail, then the whole world ... will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister ... by the lights of perverted science.
— Sir Winston Churchill, June 18, 1940

My Dear Democrat United States Congresspersons,

We do hope you are enjoying your well deserved recess. The 111th has thus far proven one of the boldest and most aggressive legislative bodies in the history of governance. Statists and collectivists throughout the world and throughout history are doubtless agog.

Between naps and town hall meetings (how rewarding those must be for you) we hope you are taking the opportunity to catch up on your reading. We highly recommend two pieces in particular, namely HR 3200 and HR 2454, the health care reform bill and the cap and trade bill respectively.

While reading, we wonder if you won’t find something reminiscent within the myriad provisions and proposals comprising these bills; something akin, if not entirely homologous to, what Sir Winston Churchill referred to as “perverted science.”

It is often assumed that in coining the phrase Sir Winston was referring to the monstrous Nazi war machine. He was not. He was referring to the synthesis of new technology and knowledge with a godless utilitarian philosophy which recast mankind as a mere resource among others to be used or discarded as expediency requires. In this world view, man exists to serve the State. To the extent that he does, he has value. To the extent he does not, he is worthless and expendable.

Not surprisingly, this “science” proves a bit of a hard sell to most populations, even the German’s of the 1930’s. So shrewd politicians dress it up with pretty little rationalizations. Eugenics, for example, justified unspeakable medical practices and experimentation so long as they were carried out upon worthless and expendable non-humans such as Jews, the disabled, blacks, homosexuals, Poles, and political enemies of all stripes. The Nazi’s “Blood and Soil” campaign made acceptable all manner of environmentalist buggery like “Tierschutzrecht,” their law against the use of cruel experiments on animals (that’s what the Jews et al were for); “Reichnatureschutzgesetz,” which allowed government expropriation of land without compensation for the purposes of environmental land use planning, “Dauerwald,” which protected forests at all costs, and ultimately “Lebensraum,” which justified the expansion of right-thinking Germany to any place on Earth it damn well pleased. (You can read all about this in Mr. Mark Musser’s excellent compendium, “The Green Nazi Hell and America’s Future?” )

Are these evidence of the sunny side of Nazism? Did Dolphy and the boys have a soft spot in their hearts for fuzzy bunnies and leafy trees? No. They merely recognized the efficacy of these measures in getting feeling, thinking people to exchange their God given rights of person and property for the promise of some mystical agrarian purity sustained only by the wisdom and grace of science and State. Alas they instead found themselves mere grist for the mill and forced to accept any dehumanizing edict handed down from government almighty.

When we read then the breathtaking affront to the rights of private property that is HR 2454, the euthanasia provisions in HR 3200 (Section 1233 pages 425-430),and the mandated tax-payer subsidized abortion via the Kennedy amendment thereto, we cannot help but feel we’ve seen all this before. We wonder, too, if the American people will prove as blind and compliant to these manipulations – festooned as they are in the raiment of social justice, environmental stewardship, and fiscal responsibility - as have been their German, Russian, Chinese, and to a lesser degree British, European, Canadian, and Australian cousins before.

It would seem, judging by the rather spunky response those of you holding live town hall meetings are receiving, that they are not. You would do well to listen to your constituents, and read the damned bills, being mindful of history and the light of perverted science.

Cheers,

Charlie

Our Interview with Satan

Churchill’s Parrot: Charlie Churchill’s Parrot here and joining us this evening is the Prince of Darkness himself, Satan. Mr. Satan, so gracious of you to be here.

Satan: Not at all.

CP: How are you, sir?

S: Never better.

CP: That’s most unfortunate. We must say we are a bit surprised to see you here. You’re not really one known for giving interviews are you?

S: You are correct. Historically my policy has been one of stealth; lurking in the shadows, masking my presence, et cetera, et cetera. There’s no cause for me to employ this strategy any longer, however.

CP: Truly? Might we ask why not?

S: No one believes in me anymore. I’ve made a joke of the very concept of evil, let alone belief in anything called “The Devil.”

CP: You don’t seem as distressed about that as one might expect.

S: Distressed? I relish in it. I am now as a hunter, utterly undetected by his prey, poised to pounce at the time of his choosing to make the final kill. Most exciting really.

CP: …yes well that is a bit chilling, isn’t it? And to what do you attribute this lack of “faith”, for want of a better term?

S: Well it certainly is no accident. My minions and I have worked for centuries to divert human beings in their intrinsic yearning for the light of Truth to the enervating conundrum that the Truth is there is no Truth. And when there is no Truth, there can be no evil. There are only preferences, which fair-mindedness prohibits people of conscience from judging. Now that this mind set has been acculturated world wide, I have effectively neutered mankind, morally speaking, and enjoy free reign on Earth.

CP: Well there it is then. What makes you believe this mind set – what we might paraphrase as Relativism - is any more a force in human events now than previous?

S: Obama.

CP: Er …Come again?

S: Obama. The ascendance of this man was the confirmation I required that this Relativism, as you put it, had become the dominant influence in the American ethos. Most of the rest of the world had adopted it decades ago, but Americans always clung to these despicable notions of self-evident truths, unalienable rights, and a “Creator” from which all emanated. Now, however, it looks as though they too have come to regard these concepts as nonsense and are more than willing to chuck them at the first hint of discomfort.

CP: Sadly you’ll get no argument from us on that. Tell us, what was your first clue about Obama?

S: The Saddleback Church Forum with Rick Warren, Obama, and Mc … McElroy?

CP: McCain.

S: Yes, McCain. You will recall Warren asked both candidates independently, “Does evil exist and, if so, should we ignore it, negotiate it with it, contain it, or defeat it?” McCain’s response: “Defeat it.” Obama, however, was far more academic, finessed, nuanced, and lengthy. I knew I had my man!

CP: Fascinating. Would you agree that we have seen that same dynamic played out in Mr. Obama’s reaction to sundry international crises of late: the Russian rape of Georgia, Al-Qaeda’s advance through Pakistan, the bald-faced threats of North Korea, the repression of the Iranian freedom movement, increased Iranian hostility toward Israel, ex-Honduran President, Manuel Zelaya’s, disregard for the Honduran constitution and the rule of law...?

S: Precisely! There are complexities to these issues. But at their core, each is plainly a manifestation of brute lust for power and disregard for human dignity. In the past, American leaders would publicly identify these acts as evil, and awaken the passions of righteousness in souls throughout the world. Now the leader of the free world merely furrows his brow and spouts meaningless equivocations laden with qualifiers and caveats. Delicious!

CP: President Jimmy Carter was of little more use in such instances, was he not? What’s the difference now?

S: Carter, though useful, was genuinely weak. Obama is not weak. He is a devout Relativist. Thus he believes quite deeply that America is no better than any other nation. That she has no special responsibility to maintain the peace in the world. That she has no right to the riches she enjoys. And that she is a bully and a rogue who must be brought to justice before the world. More importantly, Obama has the talent and the will to convert the unbelievers to this worldview.

CP: So much for current foreign policy. What about domestically?

S: Oh where shall I begin? We have had so many victories so quickly. We have virtually obliterated faith in free market principles and convinced free people to place their trust in an economy managed by a vigorous centralized government. We have convinced the gentle-hearted that their love of man can best be demonstrated, not through individual acts of mercy, but through government redistribution of wealth. We continue to advance the “knowledge” that man’s activities toward bettering himself are ultimately destructive to himself and to his planet. I mean I can’t help but giggle like a school girl when I think about Obama’s EPA successfully selling the assertion that human breath is a pollutant! You can’t imagine what sublimity that is to me.

But again, the most exquisite aspect of all this is that the American people voted for it. The AMERICAN people! This is the hope and change they chose. Mind boggling! Granted only about 10% were paying any attention when they did so, but apathy has always served me well and will continue to do so. My work here is nearly done.

CP: You must know there is a rather outspoken and passionate opposition to all this.

S: Oh yes, yes, but I have so thoroughly marginalized them and that which they advocate they are almost entirely irrelevant in the scheme of things; objects of ridicule and no more. I give you, Sarah Palin.

CP: Still your minions do have the tendency, from time to time, of overplaying their hands and awakening an authentic moral outrage in the common man.

S: Oh you’re quite right about that. Ham-fisted pity pimps and wild-eyed sociopaths have certainly spoiled the whole game for me in the past. But I need no longer concern myself with such buffoons. I’ve got my smooth-talking ace-in-the-hole in the driver’s seat now.

CP: We realize this is the age of “transparency” and all, but have you no reservations about laying out your strategy so plainly?

S: None whatsoever. Remember, I don’t exist. And, in the eyes of men, those who oppose me are pathetic lunatics lunging at phantoms. You cannot win.

CP: We can and we will. It’s just that you can’t imagine how we’ll do it at this point. Unfortunately, neither can we. But we possess something which you do not: Faith.

S: You are fools.

CP: Coming from you, that’s quite a compliment.

S: As you wish.

CP: Well we certainly have no shortage of other questions for you but we realize you have another engagement to attend.

S: Yes I’m overseeing the Jackson funeral and have a few loose ends to tie up.

CP: You don’t say. Well sir we wish you every obstacle, frustration, and failure in your future endeavors.

S: Likewise.

C: We have no doubt.