Aug 31, 2007

Caution: Lefty Logic May Prove Fatal

The fatal flaw in all Lefty “thinking” regarding the War on Terror – Iraq in particular – is the failure to appreciate the true nature and degree of the threat faced. Generally speaking, this flawed logic has characterized the three Lefty schools of thought on the matter:
* The Michael Moore school of thought - “There IS no terrorist threat. Let’s eat!”
* The Harry Reid school of thought - “If Bush said it, it’s wrong.”
* The Cindy Sheehan School of thought – “Manual petunias whittle gym blizzard fish.”

Recently, however, we came across a tactic as yet unemployed by any of the above – the use of something called “history” to make the argument that all is lost in Iraq! Far more compelling for yours truly is that the history employed in this instance consisted of the words of one Sir Winston Churchill.

In his post,
“What Would Churchill Do” (near copyright violation but I suspect we’ll let it slide this once) blogger Bryan L. Dumka reminds us that,

“Winston Churchill created Iraq. It was Winnie’s idea to combine the three
separate Turkish provinces [one each for Sunnis, Shiia, and Kurds] into one
nation for administrative purposes and to anoint the Sunnis to rule the new
country after World War I.”

Mr. Dumka then directs us to a post by Dr. Juan Cole entitled Churchill on When to Throw in the Towel in Iraq wherein Dr. Cole quotes a clearly vexxed and fed-up Sir Winston regarding the situation in Iraq.

“…unless they beg us to stay and to stay on our own terms in regard to efficient
control, we shall actually evacuate before the close of the financial year. I
would put this issue in the most brutal way, and if they are not prepared to
urge us to stay and to co-operate in every manner I would actually clear out.”


“At present we are paying eight millions a year for the privilege of living on
an ungrateful volcano out of which we are in no circumstances to get anything
worth having."

Dr. Cole leaves these quotes to speak for themselves, evidently, as damning evidence of the folly of the present surge in Iraq.

What Dr. Cole, and subsequently Mr. Dumka, fail to address, however, is that Sir Winston spoke these words in 1922. While dates are included in all their posts, the significance of this appears to be of no consequence to them. It is of great consequence.

As recently as 2001, 10, September the majority of the world (except perhaps Israel) cared not a wit about all the “Death to Israel” , “Death to America” ravings emanating out of the Middle East. We had been hearing them for decades and had turned a deaf ear, presuming there was little to nothing any of these people could actually do to make good on their threats.

The next day, 19 Saudis armed with nothing more than airline tickets and box cutters changed all that. Like the patient who suddenly learns that nagging sore throat is actually esophageal cancer, a radical change of thinking was warranted. Everything from that point on was to be regarded in a new light. For our survival, old threats must be reevaluated, new threats must be anticipated, and the unthinkable must be at least considered.

To equate evacuating Iraq in 1922 with evacuating Iraq today is to ignore entirely the events of the past 17 years (not to mention the preceding 68!) This line of reasoning is quite likely lethal. It does not require Sir Winston’s caliber of vision to foresee that such an evacuation today would leave the Iraqi people virtually defenseless against the will of Ahmedinejad’s Iran and Al-Qaeda. More significantly, the appearance of American “retreat” in the face of “jihad”, “insurgency”, “terrorism” - call it what you will - would embolden forces opposed to America and her allies a thousand fold. Given the will to kill thus far demonstrated by these forces, I submit that this would be a very bad thing to do.

We always applaud the employment of historical context in argumentation, particularly where Sir Winston is the centerpiece of said context. For this (and for Mr. Dumka’s military service) Mr. Dumka and Dr. Cole are to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, the fundamental flaw of Lefty thinking pervades their offerings, rendering their observations irrelevant and their conclusions – were they to be taken to heart and acted upon – quite likely disastrous.



Aug 28, 2007

And so it begins...

The assasination of General Petraeus' character began in earnest today with - shockingly - The New York Times leading the assault . As predicted in my prophetic, "If You Were a Leftist How Would You Attack" post, the coming weeks will see increasing coverage of possible links between possible illegal arm sales and possible involvement of General David Petraeus, possibly.

Thus, as the template goes, regardless of their validity, the seriousness of these charges warrant that we ought not trust this man, his testimony, nor his leadership (just ask the former Attorney General). Ergo - regardless of citations of progress and potential - the surge is a failure and the United States Military must pull out of Iraq NOW.

Stay tuned...



Aug 20, 2007

Further Evidence of Rampant Illiteracy in Congress


Further Evidence of Rampant Illiteracy in Congress

August 20, 2007 – Washington D.C. Another disturbing piece of evidence came to light this past Friday adding to speculations that at least half the legislative branch of the United States government is completely illiterate.

This latest incident involved Wisconsin Senator Herb Kohl and his stunningly irrelevant reply to one of his constituents. The constituent had e-mailed Senator Kohl regarding “Cost of Defeat” Congressional Call-In Day last Thursday, 16, August.

“It is roundly known that the radical defeatist group launched a campaign today to pressure members of Congress into voting for retreat from Iraq because war is expensive,” read the constituent’s letter. “Follow through on their demands would, of course, cause us to lose the war, and most likely much more. I would like you to know that I for one want to win the war on terror, and the cost of defeat is a price I am NOT willing to pay! And yes, I do see Iraq as a crucial front in the War on Terror, as does our enemy.”

The constituent continued…

"It is not insignificant that several news outlets – conservative and otherwise (even the NY Times!) - have increasingly been reporting on progress being made by General Petraeus and our troops. General Petraeus will be giving his testimony in September. He and our troops have earned a fair hearing. Please do them the honor of hearing them out. In the meantime, might I recommend you get a genuine idea where the military, their families, and their supporters are at on this issue:; , These are not mere activists’ sites. These are soldiers who not only believe in the mission, but are risking their lives for it. I think that bears hearing out. I’m sure you would agree.”

Yet despite the constituent’s powerful, heartfelt, and fairly well-written prose, Senator Kohl’s response (below) suggested that he didn’t (or couldn’t???) read a word of it

"Thank you for contacting me regarding the war in Iraq. As you can imagine, on a topic such as this, many people take the time to write to me. Please be aware that I am listening to all Wisconsinites on this critical topic.

The President has misused and abused his authority to go to war in Iraq and failed to adequately plan for the post-war situation. This failure has resulted in the deaths of over 3,000 U.S. troops and thousands of Iraqis. According to our intelligence community, the war in Iraq has done nothing to stop terrorism, but instead has turned that country into fertile ground for recruiting violent extremists. The country continues to be plagued by sectarian fighting that shows no signs of letting up in the near future.

In late 2006, the President announced his intention to deploy over 20,000 soldiers to Iraq to quell the ongoing violence, most of which were deployed to Baghdad. I heard little in the President's strategy that sounded encouraging. Against the advice of his senior commanders, the Iraq Study Group, and the majority of the American people, he has opted to commit more troops to the fighting. This approach has not been successful in stemming the violence in the past and will result in further escalation of our commitment to Iraq at a time where our soldiers are stretched to the breaking point.

Over the last few months, the Senate debated several measures that would have directed the President to begin a phased withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq. The measures called for redeployment within 120 days of passage, with the goal of having combat troops out of Iraq by April 2008. The first bill, S.J.RES.9, the United States Policy in Iraq Resolution of 2007 was defeated 48-50. The second attempt was included in H.R.1591, the Fiscal Year 2007 Emergency Supplemental Spending bill. Like its predecessor, this attempt to bring the troops home failed.

Senator Carl Levin (D-MI) sponsored an amendment to H.R.1585, the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2008, which would have called for the end of combat operations in Iraq by April 2008. Following an all-night session of debate on the war, the Senate failed to gain the 60 votes necessary to end a filibuster on the amendment by a 52-47 vote. Senator Harry Reid removed the defense authorization bill from the floor to be reconsidered later this year, at which point Congress will resume debate on ways to end the war.

Congress plays a vital role in the ongoing discussion of the war in Iraq, and as the debate continues on ways to end the war, I will keep in mind your strongly held beliefs.


Herb Kohl

U.S. Senator

Such profound disconnect bears deeper consideration, particularly after the Senator began his letter by stating, “Please be aware that I am listening to all Wisconsinites on this critical topic.”

“He’s not listening to me,” countered the constituent in his interview with Churchill’s Parrot. “Charlie I’ve sent this clown your Iraq Invasion Anniversary Online Refresher Course, I’ve studied and digested your Information Warrior Virtual Bootcamp and sent him all the relevant links and sources of REAL information regarding Iraq and the greater war on terror, and still he throws this crap at me. The same crap they’ve been dishing out since 2003 no matter what facts come to light or what developments take place in Iraq. It’s enough to make me want to move to Illinois. But THEY’VE got Durbin!”

The constituent’s anguish is not uncommon. Millions of Americans have issued similar complaints about their “representatives”, oddly the majority of them – sadly not all – democratic. We at Churchill’s Parrot have previously brought to light similar instances of such chilling disconnect between constituent and representative, particularly on the issue of Iraq (see our posts regarding Senators Ted Kennedy, Russ Feingold, and the entire United States Senate.
Explanations for this phenomenon vary, but one in particular seems to be gaining consensus among a majority of congressional watchdog experts: illiteracy.

“Clearly these poor slobs cannot read,” explains one expert. “I mean what else could it be? It’s either that or they just don’t give a rat’s a** about their country and the soldiers protecting it,” continues the expert. “But … nobody thinks that. Do they?”

The urgency of this situation cannot be understated. Fortunately, a number of organizations have leapt to action in the fight to end Congressional illiteracy. If you would like to help, please consider contributing to any and all of the following:
· The Heritage Foundation
· The Victory Caucus
· Michael Yon Online
· Milblogs

Via his web log,, Charlie, Sir Winston’s 107 year old pet parrot, endeavors to reinvigorate the flagging will of Western Civilization through regular injections of the Churchillian spirit, so desperately lacking in the enfeebled, addle-brained “culture” left us in the wake of the 1960’s.

Aug 16, 2007

If You Were a Leftist, How Would You Attack?

With his New York Times blog post “If You Were a Terrorist, How Would You Attack”, freakonomist Steven D. Levitt whimsically speculates upon new and exciting ways to terrorize and kill innocent Americans. He then invites readers to do the same.

“Consider that posting them could be a form of public service," encourages Levitt. Right then.

In that same spirit of public service, I give you, “If You Were a Leftist, How Would You Attack.” Here we shall whimsically speculate upon new ways Lefties might discredit and derail American military progress in Iraq, thereby making it easier for terrorists to accomodate Mr. Levitt and company’s recommendations above.

In less than a month, General David Petraeus will testify before Congress as to the efficacy of “The Surge.” Despite the Islamaniacs unspeakably barbaric attempts to make it appear otherwise, the vast majority of evidence suggests that, at this juncture, the Surge is achieving its objectives. For Lefties, deeply invested in all things detrimental to America, this is BAD NEWS. Having made failure in Iraq a lynchpin for their success, success in Iraq will prove their lynch rope should it actually come to light. For Lefties then, all efforts must be made to shut out that light.

These efforts began in earnest moments after Bushie announced the surge last January, have continued throughout the summer, and are now ramping up in mid August.

By way of whimsical speculation, however, I’m thinking more in terms of hit jobs on the honor and credibility of General Petraeus prior to his testimony. We have already seen numerous stories linking him to the tragic death of U.S Colonel Theodore S. Westhusing and missing weapons in Iraq. What next, saucy text messages to Mark Foley? Something to do with the resignation of Karl Rove? Come on people, put your eye to the scope and think character-assassination. For the sake of the Left’s survival, THIS MAN MUST BE STOPPED!

As Mr. Levitt says, “consider it a form of public service.”


August 16 is Cost of Defeat National Call Day . Missed it? Not an issue. Click-Call-E-mail. The cost of defeat may be dearer than we know.

Aug 10, 2007

An Open Appeal to Join the Jihad against Global Climate Change

My Dear Messer’s bin-Laden, Al-Zawahari, Ahmadinejad, Khamenei, al-Assad, al-Sadr, et-al;

I believe it is safe to say, we’ve had our differences. You don’t like our government, our economics, our culture, our religions, our philosophies, our history, our military, our taste in women’s clothing, our presence on earth; and we’re not particularly fond of your techniques in evangelizing the glories of Islam.

However, it is high time we put all this nonsense behind us. For in truth, we all find ourselves confronted today by an enemy far more formidable than either of us could ever prove to each other. Of course I am referring to GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE.

We acknowledge and applaud your extraordinary efforts thus far toward bringing the primary cause of the coming global cataclysm – free market capitalism – to its knees. However, we would be remiss in failing to point out that certain of your tactics appear to be contributing to the carbon emissions conundrum as well.

For instance, were you aware that upon ignition, Improvised Explosive Devices (IED) can release anywhere from 10K to 50K Carbon Dioxide (CO2) parts per million (ppm) into the atmosphere? Similarly, your standard issue suicide-belt has an emissions range of 20Kppm to 40Kppm upon issuance, with concentrations as high as 147K ppm when deployed by exceptionally flatulent martyrs. And flying fully fueled 747s into sky scrapers (particularly those built prior to 1998) produces carbon emission ratings so high as to be virtually incalculable! In light of these disturbing facts, we are confident you will agree that the situation has become entirely unacceptable, and that action must be taken post haste!

You are undoubtedly aware of international efforts, and those of the United States Congress, to disable the Bush industrial war machine. Progress is slow but certain. We humbly submit that you likewise take steps towards eliminating or modifying your weapons so as to mitigate their carbon footprint and the detrimental effects thereof.

Please take our hands. Join us in the jihad against carbon emissions. TOGETHER we can save our planet, and live to kill each other another day!



Aug 3, 2007

Summer Camp for Congress Persons

The American people have once again graciously conceded to allow their hard-working public servants in Congress a well-deserved summer break, this year extending from August 6 to September 3 (Sept 6 for the Senate.) What, after eight months of nose-to-the-grindstone legislating and rigorous protection of the Constitution, the Fighting 110th deserves a good four-five weeks off. And with approval ratings as they are at present, really who’s going to notice?

Given that neither the Left nor Right seems particularly pleased with the performance of their respective representatives, we see this recess as a golden opportunity to increase the American people’s return on investment in their government. We have thus carefully crafted a curriculum of instruction designed to enrich their elected official’s understanding of their prescribed agendas and enhance their esteem in the eyes of their respective constituencies.

I give you, Churchill’s Parrot Summer Camp for Congress Persons.

Curriculum for Democrats:

Arm Chair Generaling
– How not to sound like a complete jackass when demanding outlandish changes to military tactics. Instructor: General Wesley Clark.

Advanced Race Card Technique – Black (mail) is Beautiful! Learn to make Whitey really squirm. Instructor: The Reverend Al Sharpton.

Bush-steria Management – He’s derailed the country. Don’t let him derail your career. Get a handle on that frothing, seething hatred TODAY! Instructor: Dr. Howard Dean.

Sharia and The Constitution – Who says they’re incompatible? Instructor: Mullah Al-Shaktwhadli Muhammad bin Fasalid Dhwadeel Achmaalek Khatileed al-Sanladib

Spanish as a Second Language – Donde esta el Hispanic vote? Aqui! Aqui! Instructor: Undocumented.

Beyond Criticism – Making yourself utterly immune to any and all negative publicity. Instructor: Senator Ted Kennedy (with special guest President Bill Clinton)

Stalinism Reconsidered – The Fairness Doctrine, Universal Healthcare…it’s all within reach, we just might have to get a little ugly to see it through. Instructor: Senator Hillary Clinton

Special Features:
***Michael Moore Movie Marathon Mondays – Sicko, Fahrenheit 911 … all your favorites each Monday night in August!
***Alberto Gonzales PiƱata Free-for-All. You won’t be able to grill him in session, but you’re free to beat the living crap out of this paper-mache likeness of the Attorney General anytime!
***Prison Ministry/Fault-Finding Mission to
Guantanamo Bay – Camp Delta

Curriculum for Republicans:

Ronald Reagan: More than Just a Campaign Slogan - Will the real Reagan Republicans PLEASE stand up? Instructor: TBD

Assertiveness Training – You can do it! Learn to speak your mind and stand up for what you believe, even when people yell at you and call you a lunatic. Instructor: Cindy Sheehan

Fence Building – Design build techniques for attractive, reasonably priced, durable fencing on virtually any terrain, like say for example ALONG THE MEXICAN BORDER! Instructor:
Jim Gilchrist

RINO Testing – Your father was a Republican. And his father before him. But deep down inside you’re just not so sure are you? We can help. Instructor: Trent Lott.

Media Relations – (CANCELLED)

Life After Character Assassination – Who needs a career? Who needs a reputation? Instructor(s): Tom Delay, Newt Gingrich, Robert Bork.

Overcoming the Dork Thing – So what if all the beautiful people are Liberals? You can read George Will columns, understand some of what he is saying, and CONCUR with it! Instructor: Steve Forbes.

Special Features:
***Dinner with Ann Coulter Raffle
(RINOs advised not to enter lest you BECOME dinner.)
***Theatrical presentation of Barry Goldwater’s
Conscience of a Conservative
***Al Gore Impersonation Contest – Winner’s Choice: Five carbon credits or $12,000 cash!

As an additional bonus, we are offering a
Surrender Prevention Program. Conducted by our friends at Families United, this program gives citizens interested in the preservation of America, her interests, and her honor an opportunity to provide intervention for those representatives especially affected by chronic surrender syndrome.

If you’d like to enroll your Representative(s) in Churchill’s Parrot Summer Camp for Congress Persons, please leave their name and contact information in the comments box. One of our Churchill’s Parrot Summer Camp for Congress Persons administrators will make arrangements for their immediate admission.