Churchill's Parrot (CP): President Ahmadinejad, how do you respond to charges that you are a wild-eyed, suicidal, Islamaniac, nutwhistle?
Ahmadinejad (A): I am not aware of any one referring to me in this way.
CP: Well I just did.
A: Then I would say you are wrong.
CP: Right. So the Holocaust never happened?
A: It is a fiction manufactured by Zionist sympathizers.
CP: Then I was right.
A: About what?
CP: You are a wild-eyed, suicidal, Islamaniac, nutwhistle. President Ahmadinejad - may I call you Ahmad?
CP: May I call you, "Mahma?"
CP: May I call you "late for dinejad?"
A: Who is this bird and why did I agree to be interviewed by it?
CP: Oh lighten up you (EXPLETIVE) crackpot, I haven't even gotten started yet. So tell me, do things taste salty to you?
A: I don't know what you are talking about.
CP: What exactly are your plans for the real estate currently known as "Israel" once you clear it of all those pesky Jews?
A: Israel is an illegal state and deserves to be purged from our sacred land.
CP: Right, and then you'll do what? Build resorts? Theme parks? Qur'an Camps for the kids? You've done so well with the rest of the Middle East.
A: We will cleanse the land and make it pure for Islam.
CP: Sounds like heaven on Earth - aside from the car bombs, beheadings, and kidnappings and that.
A: We do what we must.
CP: And you do it quite well might I say. Incidently, do you feel as though there is a tight metal band around your head?
A: Excuse me?
CP: So you're the 12th Imam and endeavor to bring about the end of the world as we know it?
A: There are prophecies in which we all play a role.
CP: Have you done much market research on this plan? Seems to me it's not all that popular amongst thinking people.
A: It is not the whim of people but the will of God I obey.
CP: Right. And it makes perfect sense that the Creator would want to obliterate His entire creation because His creatures can't seem to agree on how to spell His name?
A: When the Holy has been made unholy by infidels, all must be cleansed.
CP: I whole heartedly agree and I think a really great place to start would be your teeth. Have you brushed this morning? This week? Anytime in the last ...
A: THAT'S IT! (President Ahmadinejad storms out of the room shouting unintelligibles in Arabic.)