Feb 5, 2007

Iran to Save World - Feb. 11

Well I'm certain I am not the only one quaking with anticipation over President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's February 11,2007 announcement of "GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS" Iran has made recently toward the advancement of humankind, not the least of which is a cure for AIDS.  No really.  See it here.  Incidentally, Mr. President will also be announcing at this time Iran’s “inalienable right to access and use nuclear technology.”  How exactly he intends to demonstrate this right is not entirely clear, but let’s just hope it doesn’t involve mushroom clouds and incinerating human flesh.  But, of course, undoubtedly by “nuclear technology”  Mr. President means merely his nation’s right to power their dishwashers and blow dryers with environmentally-friendly nuclear energy – which stands to reason in one of the most oil-rich nations on the planet.  Nothing to fret about here.

Other remarkable Iranian “technological and medical breakthroughs” to be announced on the 11th (but not mentioned in the above article) include:   

    • Flying cars
    • “Tsunami-B-Gone” automated tsunami prevention and protection system
    • A pre-fabricated moon base (ready for lift off!)
    • One-size fits all suicide bomb-vests
    • The solution to world poverty
    • A personal sea water conversion device – safe and delicious drinking water anytime, anywhere
    • The “Kyotomatic” Global Climate moderating Unit
    • A battery powered chimp which crashes dime-sized cymbals together

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