1. Is it true you are a fraud?
No. Lies. Bloody lies. News accounts attesting to my NOT actually being or ever having been Churchill's parrot (as seen here, here, here, and heard here) are utter and complete rubbish. Naturally the media *muddle headed leftist potheads they are - have bulloxed the whole thing up. As for Lady Soames, Sir Winston's daughter, well let's just say there are a good many things Mr. Prime Minister kept from his family, his relationship with me and our frequent discussions regarding geo-political concerns over brandy and cigars being among them.
2. Why do you appear differently in various photographs?
I rather fancy donning alternative plumage depending on my mood and the affair at hand. For instance in the following photograph, I went with my Classic Cockatoo number.
Often for larger media events and appearances I don my Dress Greens as it seems folks are more partial to parrots of color.
But in private or just larking about I appear as my self, a standard issue African Grey parrot, humbly trying to save Western Civilization from utter and complete annihilation.
Those of us radical enough to adhere to a fringe concept known as "history" may recall that there has always existed a rather intimate relationship between Mother England and her rambunctious child prodigy the United States of America.
Now that it appears Mother England (authoress of the Magna Carta) is past the point of no return in her enfeebled dotage - wallowing ever deeper into delirium and socialist claptrap - there remains but one able-bodied advocate for the cause of human liberty. France? (EXPLETIVE) no! Australia? Close, but no. Canada? Not bloody likely. I am, of course, referring to the United States of America.
Thus I choose to direct the enirety of my massive intellect, worldwide celebrity, and cheeky wit to support this truly last best hope of mankind.
4. What big plans have you got for the future Charlie?
Well currently, I have my Blognician - Manilla Folders - working on our fully-loaded website, which at his rate of accomplishment ought be ready sometime in the fall of 2019. (Bloody Third Worlders. All the work ethic of wet sand!) Nonetheless, with a bit of prodding - violence if necessary - we expect to have it up soon and fabulously! I am also entering negotiations to star as myself in a full-length motion picture. (If anyone cares to actually enter into these negotiations with me please contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.)
If that gets bulloxed up than I should think I at least rate a bloody kid's show, eh?
5. Where can I get Churchill's Parrot products and merchandise?
Again, once Manilla can FIND THE TIME to actually get it up as it were, our ChurchillsParrot.com website will feature a number of FAB-U-LOUS products for you people to choose from: podcasts, Churchill's Parrot apparel, action figures, and male enhancement products. I shall also feature e-book versions of my two books currently in the works - America for (EXPLETIVE) Idiots and Hatred of America: A Love Story. All products will be hand-crafted by the most highly trained and experienced artisans in the sweat shop circuit and made from the finest quality materials remotest Indonesia has to offer.
IN THE MEANTIME, so as not to leave my fans utterly without gratification, I have graciously condescended to allow you to print out my official Churchill's Parrot bumper sticker ABSOLUTLEY FREE so that you might affix it to the bumper of your choice and demonstrate your support and admiration. Simply scroll down to the bottom of this or any page and there you are.
* Media representatives, that whole "muddle headed leftist potheads" thing, take no offense. A little red meat for my fan base, you understand. Please know that I am available for interviews and appearances at any time. Contact my manager, Alquastria Loppingshears, at: Alquastria.Loppingshears@Loppingshearspublicrelations/mediacontact~appearances/churchills.parrot//contract13582.placement/net.