Feb 22, 2009

The Compassion Clowns

UPDATE: "This is a deep moral imperative to make our society more just. " - Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner on taxing the rich. You see, COMPASSION!

Desperate for work? Passionate about HOPE & CHANGE™ ? Got a rubber nose?


Churchill’s Parrot’s newly formed Social Justice Division has recently procured $15.5 billion through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. These revenues enable us to better fulfill our mission of affecting social change through emotional extortion.

Compassion Clowns will be trained in the use of:

*Incomprehensible legalese
*Scripture misrepresentation
*Hollywood-approved emotional manipulation techniques
*Strategic race-baiting
*Class warfare Ju-Jitsu

Successful Compassion Clowns will be expert at convincing average Americans they are barbarically insensitive, racist, jingoistic, homophobic misers deserving of all contempt.

NOW HIRING: The Obama administration anticipates rather the backlash when the American people realize their “Stimulus” was merely a Welfare State Spend-a-thon. Compassion Clowns will be needed as never before to ameliorate the situation through the employ of obfuscation, white guilt, and pseudo-Christian platitudes.

Do your part to advance Marxism, one guilty-conscience at a time.

CALL TODAY! Operators are standing by. Call 202-456-1111

“The way to America’s head is through its heart.”
- Charlie Churchill’s Parrot, Founder and President - The Compassion Clowns, Inc.

Feb 20, 2009

The Re-Constitution of the United State of America

Nancy and Harry, still with red pens in hand, have turned their improving-eye upon the core impediment to hope and change in America: that damnable Constitution!

Word is they are working feverishly – even into the late afternoons – in hopes of having their revisions ready for President Obama to sign by Ash Wednesday (Nancy being the good Catholic girl she is.)

As we have noted earlier, revisions to the Bill of Rights have been underway for some time. Of particular irritation to Congressional leaders (who are NOT Socialists by the by) is that 10th amendment:

"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."

Various Republican governors are citing this silly provision as cause for them to resist Federal stimulus which they believe potentially deleterious to the economy, human liberty, and core-being of the American ethos. Pish posh!

Thankfully, Democratic Congressman Jim Clyburn of South Carolina has intervened with provisions to override these fools, declaring that refusing the stimulus is a slap in the face to African Americans. Well of course it is. Afterall, for the past 40 years the Democrats (who are NOT Socialists) have demonstrated repeatedly that African Americans are utterly and completely incapable of fending for themselves without the loving and guiding hand of (mostly white and Democrat) government.

Yes, to oppose the Stimulus is racist. Let there be no more debate.

Right then, now that that’s all tidied up, it’s on to the environment!



Feb 11, 2009

A Guide for Brave New Americans

"Consider how barren a philosophy is the creed of absolute Collectivism. Equality of reward, irrespective of service rendered! It is expressed in other ways. You know the phrase - "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." How nice that sounds. Let me put it another way - "You shall work according to your fancy; you shall be paid according to your appetite."

- Sir Winston Churchill, May 4, 1908, Kinnaird Hall, Dundee

Congratulations America, and welcome to the glorious international union of socialist republics!

We here provide here a quick guide as for what you are now in store; made simple (BIG PICTURES) for the kiddie-winkies and your left-leaning friends. Enjoy!


UPDATE: A dire message from Mr. Edwin J Feulner, President of The Heritage Foundation
"For the last 35 years, educators and analysts at The Heritage Foundation have been intimately involved in the nation's great public policy debates. In all that time, we have never encountered legislation with such far-reaching and revolutionary policy implications as the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act currently before Congress. And never have we seen a bill more cloaked in secrecy or more withdrawn from open public exposure and honest debate.

Feb 9, 2009

Taking to the air yet again ...

Join us, won't you, for our second appearance on Political Vindication Radio, courageous Conservative talk in a cowardly world. Naturally, we are quite the fan. And now, a guest.

Mark those calendars:
  • Tuesday, February 10, 2009

  • 6-8 Pacific Time (You'll have to fiigure out whatever the &#$* time that is for you.)
Tune in. Listen in. Call in!


Feb 5, 2009

Read the Stimulus. HELP WANTED!

"Read the Stimulus" - $850 Billion, 1588 pages, and counting... somebody needs to read it! You can do so here: http://www.readthestimulus.org/ .

Moreover, you can help! The Read the Stimulus coalition is seeking assistance parsing the bill into their Google spreadsheet.

Put your bitter outrage, utter digust, and plummeting despair to good use - volunteer today!



Feb 1, 2009

The Race of the Trojan Horses

In the race of the Trojan horses, we have entered, it would seem, the final stretch.

Those of us with eyes to see and optical nerves still communicating with the brain - our voices drowned out in the hysteria - have a decision to make: continue languishing in the grandstand, or make some fast money.

We recommend the latter!

And so we provide our analysis by which you might inform your wager. Which Trojan horse will be the first to bring about the final end of Western Civilization?

Tommy-Boy Tolerance – American President Obama’s call for defense cuts , days after the International Institute for Strategic Studies’ most recent report that Iran may have enough low-enriched uranium by the end of 2010 to build a nuclear bomb, have vastly improved this steed’s standing in the match. The action validates in no uncertain terms the United States’ renewed commitment as a staunch ally in Europe’s Tolerance Above All suicide pact.

Compassion Candy – Hot on Tommy Boy’s heels is Compassion Candy! 40 years of Marxist-conditioning are paying off as the U.S. Congress prepares to impoverish the *world’s strongest economy via the purchase of $825 billion worth of political pornography while convincing they American people they do so in the interest of “the common good.”

*(as of 30 January 2009 noon-ish)

Stewardship Sue – Record cold temperatures and snow accumulations can’t stop this one! With the weight of the world on her shoulders (and the fire of the Apocalypse in her heart) Stewardship Sue is the long-shot winner in this race, promising to devastate the American (ergo – the world’s) economy through iron-fisted control of the world’s resources, processed and distributed according to the dictates of The Unicorn’s Book of Sparkle Flowers … that is… global climate change policy.

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets. The race is on. The end is near. Good luck!