Mar 15, 2009

Our Interview with Churchill’s Bust



Churchill’s Parrot: Charlie, Churchill’s Parrot here, honored with the opportunity to sit down with the first of likely many casualties of the Obama administration, Churchill’s Bust. Mr. Bust how are you this evening?

Churchill’s Bust: Smashing Charlie couldn’t be better. And you?

Churchill’s Parrot: Suffice to say we’ve seen better days. Mr. Bust, you’re expulsion from the Oval Office has made you quite the celebrity of late. We’ve all heard much about the affair. What’s your take?

Churchill’s Bust: Well speaking for myself, Charlie, I must tell you that it is an extraordinary relief.

Churchill’s Parrot: Relief? How so?

Churchill’s Bust: To sit frozen upon a mantel overseeing daily the dismantlement of the world’s economic engine, the disarmament of the last best hope of mankind, the appeasement of tin-horn dictators and noxious regimes, the impudence - intentional and unintentional - toward that heretofore esteemed sacred in the American ethos … it’s enough to make even a lifeless hunk of bronze blow chunks.

Churchill’s Parrot: Not to mention the out and out disrespect this action demonstrates toward the British people and the Special Relationship.

Churchill’s Bust: That, we must say, we find rather amusing. For the nearly eight years I resided in the Oval Office, the British press and people unreservedly declared the popularly elected President of the United States a war-monger, a Nazi, a genocidal murderer, a racist, a homophobe, a diabolical genius, a wrist-dragging chuck-head, the free world’s greatest enemy, a coward of the lowest order, and a man worthy of beheading under Islamic law. A curious disposition for those interested in maintaining a relationship one might categorize as “special” don’t you think? But, alas, now they cry foul. Bullocks.

Churchill’s Parrot: How do you think the next chapter of the Special Relationship will read?

Churchill’s Bust: Regarding those aspects Mr. Churchill delineated in his great clarion call for Anglo-American brotherhood in 1943 at Harvard – “law, language, literature, common conceptions of what is right and decent, a marked regard for fair play, a stern sentiment of impartial justice, and above all the love of personal freedom, always ready to spring at the throat of tyranny, marching shoulder to shoulder on the fields of war and in those realms of thought which are consecrated to the rights and the dignity of man” – well you can forget all that. Neither Britain nor America is home to sufficient numbers who consider all this anything other than anachronistic bilge, if they consider it all. Too few are interested in bearing the responsibility that comes with the greatness given them by their forefathers.

In terms of a union of international socialist states, marching shoulder to shoulder toward a Marxist global utopia, however, I see the two nations getting along quite swimmingly. Until , of course, China makes the world its bitch.

Churchill’s Parrot: That’s the non-sequitur about Obama’s apparent attitude toward Britain and Gordon Brown; they’re all Lefties aren’t they?

Churchill’s Bust: Indeed. But remember that Mr. Obama is pose incarnate. As such he understands quite well that destroying the symbolism of the old order is essential to the vitality of the new order. Ousting me and treating Britain as he might any two-bit republic is his message to the Left that he is serious about doing so. It is also his way of showing them who is going to be boss in this new arrangement: not America, as such, but Obama.

Churchill’s Parrot: You mentioned China previously. How will they fit into this new arrangement?

Churchill’s Bust: They will not fit into it. They will own it. They’re merely letting these pubescent would-be commies do the demolition work for them. China has more than enough might and disdain for the West to seize the global mantle. And the United States is the easy – and not entirely innocent – target of animosity over the current economic depression. Once the 60’s radicals and their disciples establish a good thriving anarchy throughout the free world, the Chi-Coms will move in to save the day with their unique brand of peace and justice.

Churchill’s Parrot: Bit of a dismal outlook you are providing us here. Anything positive on the horizon?

Churchill’s Bust: But of course. The lone voice of sanity in the last seventy years has been that of the Conservatives. In Britain and America, via insidious Leftism in our schools, culture, and churches, that voice has been increasingly marginalized to the point of being utterly incomprehensible to the masses. Yet today, in small pockets here and there, we are witnessing a visceral reawakening to the fundamentals of Liberty that Conservatives have always held sacred: a clear understanding of the essentiality of limited government to human dignity, the recognition of individual liberty as a gift from God that requires responsibility on the part of the recipient, an appreciation of the practical and moral superiority of free market principles over all other economic models, the knowledge that national defense is the first and foremost duty of any legitimate government, and the understanding that Judeo-Christian values are the precious soil from which the incomparable garden of Western Civilization has sprung.

In a perverse sense we have Obama to thank for this reawakening. For it is a universal truth that human beings do not fully appreciate what they have until they have lost it. Many are coming to the realization that they have lost it.

Churchill’s Parrot: Any chance they’ll get it back?

Churchill’s Bust: In the next millennia or so? Not bloody likely. But cheer up old chum. You and I, as British parrot and bust, are quite accustomed to being encased and shelved, helplessly watching as socialism eats out the marrow of our beloved realm. Let’s see how the Americans like it?

Churchill’s Parrot: Brandy or Scotch?

Churchill’s Bust: Scotch, thank you, and let’s not be timid about it.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now that was funny and clever.

But why all the Obama hatin'? The guy walked into a royal mess. Is this payback for the Bush-haters? Is this really about Socialism. Really?

I guess the extremes on both sides won't be happy until they completely destroy the other and perhaps our great nation.

Anonymous said...

It seems these like these day we are only united in horrific moments of crisis such as now. Not.

You are a very funny bird though.

Churchill's Parrot said...

My Dear Anonymous,

We thank you for your appreciation of our wit and jocularity.

As for our “Obama hatin’”, we would counter that there is no hatred of the man, only deep concern and criticism of his policies thus far, most particularly in the realm of domestic economics.

You cite that the man walked into a royal mess. True. Yet thus far he has addressed that mess by deliberately doubling and tripling the very mistakes which exacerbated it in the first place. To wit:

•President Bush expanded the federal budget by a historic $700 billion through 2008. President Obama would add another $1 TRILLION.

•President Bush began a string of expensive financial bailouts. President Obama is accelerating that course.

•President Bush created a Medicare drug entitlement that will cost an estimated $800 billion in its first decade. President Obama has proposed a $634 billion down payment on a new government health care fund.

•President Bush increased federal education spending 58 percent faster than inflation. President Obama would double it.

•President Bush became the first President to spend three percent of GDP on federal antipoverty programs. President Obama has already increased this spending by 20 percent.

•President Bush tilted the income tax burden more toward upper-income taxpayers. President Obama would continue that trend, while raising taxes on all Americans by $1.4 trillion over the next decade

•President Bush presided over a $2.5 trillion increase in the public debt through 2008. Setting aside 2009 (for which Presidents Bush and Obama share responsibility for an additional $2.6 trillion in public debt), President Obama’s budget would add $4.9 trillion in public debt from the beginning of 2010 through 2016 - a 25 percent spending increase, the largest non-war government expansion since the New Deal.

Yes this is about Socialism. Really. And deeply crappy policy making. The man promised to fundamentally change the United States of America. With the aid of a Democrat Congress and trillions of tax payer dollars, he is fulfilling that campaign promise.

This is not tit for tat my friend. We have not even approached the terms and tones spewed incessantly at Mr. Bush for eight years. We respect the Office of the Presidency regardless of its occupant. What we criticize is policy, the thinking behind it, and its actual and anticipated consequences.

Supporters of Mr. Obama would do well to remember that while he may seem a benevolent captain, appropriating unprecedented powers to the Presidency in order to save the American ship of state, what is to become of that ship when a less benevolent captain seizes its helm?

Cheers,

Charlie

Anonymous said...

Funny I dropped your talking points into google search and there they were verbatim on the heritage.org site. Funny you're not as wise as you are funny. Perhaps you should consider citing your sources.

Churchill's Parrot said...

My Dear Anonymous,

Splendid - the de rigueur ad hominem tact. Well done. By their fruits you shall know them, eh?

Nonetheless, you are correct, the facts we cite are directly taken from the Heritage Foundation.

We can only hope that, perhaps, as you were trolling about at Heritage.org, you might have learned something?

Our citings and references to Heritage on this blog are innumerable and our debt to them immense. This is no secret to any of our readers nor to anyone aware of the incredible reach and value of Heritage's research and reporting.

Thus we are compelled to ask, other than our failing in this instance to credit them, did you have any thoughts regarding the particular facts cited?

Cheers,

Charlie

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