The Power of Myth

Initially many of us found the news that over one fifth the British population believed Sir Winston Churchill to be nothing more than myth shocking, breathtaking, unnerving, infuriating, and deeply depressing. However, there is a bright side!

As the Left clips along in its campaign to make the real false and the false real – their gift to progeny - we can at least exploit their moronic constructs to further our own aims. We are here provided a perfect opportunity.

Earlier this year it was revealed that the United Nations was teaming up with Marvel Comics to pit Marvel’s mythological superheroes against the non-mythological evils of our day. (The ironies of this are innumerable, however, in an attempt to maintain our clenched-teeth, smiley-faced, acidly-sarcastic tone for this post, we shall ignore the lot. For now!)

Thus, assuming with a great deal of certainty that the majority of chuck-wits believing Sir Winston to be but a work of fiction also hold the United Nations in highest esteem, we recommend simply re-packaging Sir Winston – his words and deeds – as a modern day superhero and peddling him to the jackasses at Marvel and the U.N. It’s brilliant!

He can fly, he can see through walls, he can envision the future, and he can vaporize evil-doers with mere eloquence. So as not to raise Lefty suspicions we would of course keep our hero innocuous initially, performing your standard acts of super-heroism: hefting school buses off collapsing bridges, pulling jet liners out of irrecoverable nose-dives, intervening in troublesome domestic disputes that sort of thing. Once a fan-base is established, however, we could deftly ease in some actual substance and have Sir Winston unleashing lethal verbiage regarding the evils of Islamo-fascism (POW!); the poison of socialism (DOOF!); and the impotence of modern man (KABLOWIE!).

I shall dispatch my creative team at once to begin work on this delightful venture. Liberated, as we now are, from the constrictions of reality, there is no limit to what we can achieve!

Cheers,

Charlie