“No one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned.” Pete Townshend, Slit Skirts
Of course, how could we have been so blind? It’s all so obvious now. He’s not trying to destroy us. He’s just trying to wake us!
In perhaps the most ingenious educational undertaking of all time, Barack H. Obama is proving to be far more than mere President of the United States. He is, in fact, the quintessential Constitutional Law Professor working to restore the nation’s soul.
Sixty years of Conservative haranguing—from Buckley to Beck—has failed to fully reawaken America’s passion for her founding principles. And yet, after just 18 months, Professor Obama has induced a rapidly-growing number of Americans to clamor for a return to limited government, free market principles, individual liberty, and a strong national defense.
Through an ingenious sort of “Scared Straight/You Never Know What You Had Until You’ve Lost It” curriculum, Professor Obama is sparking what is effectively a second American revolution.
For how better to demonstrate the inestimable value of enumerating the powers of government than by rapidly and arbitrarily expanding those powers to unprecedented levels?
How better to make working people appreciate the genius of the free market than by plundering their personal wealth through collectivist, prosperity-killing policies?
How better to illustrate the necessity of American military superiority than by publicly renouncing that superiority and witnessing two-bit megalomaniacal tyrants advance as a result?
Thus the ever-increasing urgency with which the United States seeks to realign herself with the principles upon which she was founded and the Constitution by which she is sustained. Indeed, no one man or woman has ever done so much for the cause of Conservatism in America than Barack Hussein Obama.
And that is why we say congratulations and thank you Mr. President; our Churchill’s Parrot 2010 Conservative of the Year!
Now would someone kindly remind Professor Obama that school is out for summer? Quickly!