November 9, 2007. Washington D.C. – In an attempt to bolster flagging approval ratings amongst their constituents, Democratic strategists approached the producer’s of MTV’s hit program Jackass on Friday to request recording a special episode of the program.
According to sources, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told producer’s she is planning to bring another troops-out-of-Iraq bill to the House floor on next Friday - the 58th such attempt this year - and would like the Jackass team there to record the event.
“I’ve never seen the show,” explained Pelosi. “But my grandkids tell me it’s ‘da bomb!’ So who am I to say no?”
The Jackass program featured individuals performing ridiculous, dangerous, and self-injuring stunts and pranks for the amusement of its viewers. Though regular production of the Jackass television program ceased in 2002, a number of spin-offs and theatrical versions have since met with great success amongst the depraved and dull-witted, thus catching the eye of Democratic strategists.
Initial reports indicate that Jackass producers are seriously considering producing the special episode.
“I mean they haven’t got a (expletive) chance in hell,” said former Jackass producer, Don Kerschski. “This could be (expletive) funnier than (expletive) Johnny Knoxville gettin’ repeatedly kicked in the (expletive) over and over by (expletive) 11 year-old girls. (Expletive) hilarious!”
Kerschski is referring to the fact that, despite the (decreasingly) mainstream media’s best efforts to prevent it, the American public is beginning to realize that their military is currently executing one of the most brilliantly executed and effective turnarounds of fortune in military history. Reports of massive reductions in casualties amongst civilians Coalition Forces, and Iraqi Security Forces continue to seep into American public awareness. Evidently, the Democrats are entirely unaware of this phenomenon.
“Maybe somebody oughta tell Nancy and Harry?” suggest Kerschski. “Nah. (Expletive) them! This’ll be one of the best (expletive) episodes we’ve ever done!”
Via his web log, http://www.churchillsparrot.com/, Charlie, Sir Winston’s 107 year old pet parrot, endeavors to reinvigorate flagging Western Civilization through regular injections of the Churchillian spirit, so desperately lacking in the enfeebled, addle-brained “culture” left us in the wake of the 1960’s.