Mar 29, 2007

What Would Winston Do?


"We have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy."

- Sir Winston Churchill before the Canadian Parliament, Ottawa, 30 December 1941.


Iran and the U.K. sailors – rarely do we find a more delicious opportunity for us to pose the question which is the genesis of this Site: WHAT WOULD WINSTON DO?

At present, Prime Minister Tony Blair is reduced to paying gratuitous homage to the grand blundering do-nothing that is the United Nations, requesting words of “harsh condemnation” against Iran for its blatantly illegal and recklessly provocative actions against the United Kingdom. In the three to four months it will take the U.N.-sters to agree on the menu for the lunch to be served at the meeting at which they propose to eventually commence the careful selection of said harsh words, the British soldiers will be dead and/or the credibility of England and the United States will be further decimated in the eyes of the Middle East and the entire world.

Naturally, we would argue, this is entirely unacceptable, not to mention suicidal. Tests of our strength must always be met full on. I am, once again, reminded of Sir Winston’s eloquence as uttered in 1946 before a captivated audience in Missouri:

“Our difficulties and dangers will not be removed by closing our eyes to them. They will not be removed by mere waiting to see what happens. Nor will they be removed by a policy of appeasement. What is needed is a settlement, and the longer this is delayed, the more difficult it will be, and the greater our dangers will become. I am convinced that there is nothing for which they have less respect than for weakness, especially military weakness. For that reason, the old doctrine of balance of power is unsound. We cannot afford, if we can help it, to work on narrow margins, offering temptations to a trial of strength. If the Western democracies stand together in strict adherence to these principles, no one is likely to molest them. If, however, they become divided or falter in their duty, and if these all-important years are allowed to slip away, then indeed catastrophe may overwhelm us all.”

And so – you are no doubt wondering – what WOULD Winston do in an instance such as currently confronts us? Allow me to channel. I am seeing ... a letter …

My Dear President Ahmadinejad,

Release my sailors. Immediately and unharmed. If my sailors are not in British custody – unharmed – by next Wednesday the 4th of April, 2007 at 12:00 pm you can most assuredly expect the following consequences:
1. An intensive rescue team will be immediately dispatched to retrieve our sailors.
2. This rescue team will have at its beck and call the full might of British and U.S. military resources currently surrounding your entire country.
3. Any and all attempts to thwart this rescue effort will be met with the force necessary to crush said attempts.
4. If any harm should come to any of our sailors or rescue team members during this operation - either by your forces, our own, or pure happenstance – you will be held entirely responsible.
5. Any harm coming to these or any British military personnel in such circumstances will be deemed a declaration of war upon the British Empire and her Allies and will result in the appropriate consequences.
Rest assured we seek nothing more than the safe release of these sailors into British custody. All other issues existing between your nation and mine at present are separate matters entirely. Regarding those separate matters, however, your failure to comply to the above in any way will weigh heavily in your disfavor in all future “negotiations.”

Best Regards,

Sir Winston Churchill, Prime Minister

P.S. Enclosed please find my gift of a new map and GPS device. Such tools may prove useful in your avoiding such asininity in the future. No need to thank me. As for your utter lack of integrity, I am aware of no practicable remedy.

What shall actually come to pass? You’ll need to consult somebody else’s parrot for that.

Cheers,

Charlie

5 comments:

darj55 said...

But wait a minute. Beautiful, talented, politically aware and morally upstanding Rosie O'Donnell says that the current hostage situation with Iran is the fault of the British. She also said that 9/11 was an American conspiracy. No one at ABC or any other media outlet seems to mind.
Insanity seems to have become mainstream.

Anonymous said...

Why on earth do you care what Rosie O'donnell thinks? Nobody cares. She can do or say anything she likes, welcome to America darj! Her opinion matters about as much as Pat Robertson's opinion.

Does Iran have an Embassy in England? If so perhaps Britians should rally and protest Iran's wrongdoings there.

Someone needs to send a message to Iran. I have a feeling it will be delivered anyday now.

darj55 said...

I'm for sending Rosie O'Donnell to Iran, permanently.

Churchill's Parrot said...

Rosie O'Do - being female (technically), lesbian, and outspoken, would be savagely beaten and likely have her clitoris sewn shut(no doubt requiring the use of a whaling harpoon and telephone wire) were she to exist as such in Iran - or anywhere else in the Middle East for that matter.

That she is able to speak freely as she does - on national television no less - is evidence of the blessings of Liberty secured and protected by the Heroes of our past. That she chooses to do so is a pox upon all humanity, not to mention the sponsors of ABC's The View (also a pox upon humanity.)

We concur that Rosie O'Do is an immense irrelevance but note with some distress that Her Immensely Irrelevant Asininity receives little or no debate on the rather powerful medium she has commandeered and is echoed by an increasing number of witless loud mouths. This is not without consequence.

We trust, however, that the great American people will rise above the din and continue foward to the clarion call of Reason and Truth. (And if they're still for sending the monstrous battle-ax to Iran, just tell me where to send my cheque!)

Cheers,

Charlie

Anonymous said...

It seems to me we and the media give her way too much attention as is ... and I agree with her half the time!

Everyone wants a soapbox. We only need to look at the screen to see that we are all the same.

Giraffe