The Compassion Clowns

UPDATE: "This is a deep moral imperative to make our society more just. " - Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner on taxing the rich. You see, COMPASSION!

- ADVERTISMENT-

Desperate for work? Passionate about HOPE & CHANGE™ ? Got a rubber nose?

THIS MAY BE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU!

Churchill’s Parrot’s newly formed Social Justice Division has recently procured $15.5 billion through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. These revenues enable us to better fulfill our mission of affecting social change through emotional extortion.

Compassion Clowns will be trained in the use of:

*Incomprehensible legalese
*Scripture misrepresentation
*Hollywood-approved emotional manipulation techniques
*Strategic race-baiting
*Class warfare Ju-Jitsu

Successful Compassion Clowns will be expert at convincing average Americans they are barbarically insensitive, racist, jingoistic, homophobic misers deserving of all contempt.

NOW HIRING: The Obama administration anticipates rather the backlash when the American people realize their “Stimulus” was merely a Welfare State Spend-a-thon. Compassion Clowns will be needed as never before to ameliorate the situation through the employ of obfuscation, white guilt, and pseudo-Christian platitudes.

Do your part to advance Marxism, one guilty-conscience at a time.

CALL TODAY! Operators are standing by. Call 202-456-1111

“The way to America’s head is through its heart.”
- Charlie Churchill’s Parrot, Founder and President - The Compassion Clowns, Inc.

The Re-Constitution of the United State of America

Nancy and Harry, still with red pens in hand, have turned their improving-eye upon the core impediment to hope and change in America: that damnable Constitution!

Word is they are working feverishly – even into the late afternoons – in hopes of having their revisions ready for President Obama to sign by Ash Wednesday (Nancy being the good Catholic girl she is.)

As we have noted earlier, revisions to the Bill of Rights have been underway for some time. Of particular irritation to Congressional leaders (who are NOT Socialists by the by) is that 10th amendment:

"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."

Various Republican governors are citing this silly provision as cause for them to resist Federal stimulus which they believe potentially deleterious to the economy, human liberty, and core-being of the American ethos. Pish posh!

Thankfully, Democratic Congressman Jim Clyburn of South Carolina has intervened with provisions to override these fools, declaring that refusing the stimulus is a slap in the face to African Americans. Well of course it is. Afterall, for the past 40 years the Democrats (who are NOT Socialists) have demonstrated repeatedly that African Americans are utterly and completely incapable of fending for themselves without the loving and guiding hand of (mostly white and Democrat) government.

Yes, to oppose the Stimulus is racist. Let there be no more debate.

Right then, now that that’s all tidied up, it’s on to the environment!

Cheers,

Charlie

A Guide for Brave New Americans

"Consider how barren a philosophy is the creed of absolute Collectivism. Equality of reward, irrespective of service rendered! It is expressed in other ways. You know the phrase - "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." How nice that sounds. Let me put it another way - "You shall work according to your fancy; you shall be paid according to your appetite."

- Sir Winston Churchill, May 4, 1908, Kinnaird Hall, Dundee

Congratulations America, and welcome to the glorious international union of socialist republics!

We here provide here a quick guide as for what you are now in store; made simple (BIG PICTURES) for the kiddie-winkies and your left-leaning friends. Enjoy!

Cheers,

Charlie

UPDATE: A dire message from Mr. Edwin J Feulner, President of The Heritage Foundation

"For the last 35 years, educators and analysts at The Heritage Foundation have been intimately involved in the nation's great public policy debates. In all that time, we have never encountered legislation with such far-reaching and revolutionary policy implications as the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act currently before Congress. And never have we seen a bill more cloaked in secrecy or more withdrawn from open public exposure and honest debate.

-READ MORE (if you dare)

Taking to the air yet again ...

Join us, won't you, for our second appearance on Political Vindication Radio, courageous Conservative talk in a cowardly world. Naturally, we are quite the fan. And now, a guest.

Mark those calendars:

• Tuesday, February 10, 2009


• 6-8 Pacific Time (You'll have to fiigure out whatever the &#$* time that is for you.)
  

Tune in. Listen in. Call in!

Cheers,

Charlie

Read the Stimulus. HELP WANTED!

"Read the Stimulus" - $850 Billion, 1588 pages, and counting... somebody needs to read it! You can do so here: http://www.readthestimulus.org/ .

Moreover, you can help! The Read the Stimulus coalition is seeking assistance parsing the bill into their Google spreadsheet.

Put your bitter outrage, utter digust, and plummeting despair to good use - volunteer today!

Cheers,

Charlie

The Race of the Trojan Horses

In the race of the Trojan horses, we have entered, it would seem, the final stretch.

Those of us with eyes to see and optical nerves still communicating with the brain - our voices drowned out in the hysteria - have a decision to make: continue languishing in the grandstand, or make some fast money.

We recommend the latter!

And so we provide our analysis by which you might inform your wager. Which Trojan horse will be the first to bring about the final end of Western Civilization?

Tommy-Boy Tolerance – American President Obama’s call for defense cuts , days after the International Institute for Strategic Studies’ most recent report that Iran may have enough low-enriched uranium by the end of 2010 to build a nuclear bomb, have vastly improved this steed’s standing in the match. The action validates in no uncertain terms the United States’ renewed commitment as a staunch ally in Europe’s Tolerance Above All suicide pact.

Compassion Candy – Hot on Tommy Boy’s heels is Compassion Candy! 40 years of Marxist-conditioning are paying off as the U.S. Congress prepares to impoverish the *world’s strongest economy via the purchase of $825 billion worth of political pornography while convincing they American people they do so in the interest of “the common good.”

*(as of 30 January 2009 noon-ish)

Stewardship Sue – Record cold temperatures and snow accumulations can’t stop this one! With the weight of the world on her shoulders (and the fire of the Apocalypse in her heart) Stewardship Sue is the long-shot winner in this race, promising to devastate the American (ergo – the world’s) economy through iron-fisted control of the world’s resources, processed and distributed according to the dictates of The Unicorn’s Book of Sparkle Flowers … that is… global climate change policy.

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets. The race is on. The end is near. Good luck!

Cheers,

Charlie

The Bishops of Simpleton

After years of unabashed advocacy of the DNC agenda, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops are now scrambling to prevent the Democrat Congress and the Obama Administration from making the most radical pro-abortion legislation in history the law of the land.

Already stunned by Mr. Obama’s unblinking revocation of the Mexico City Policy which prevented U.S. tax payers funding the murder of the unborn in developing nations, the good Bishop’s are now a bit panicked that he and Congress now seek to enforce same domestically via the so-called Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA).

In short, this delectable piece of Leftism will:
*Make abortion an entitlement, requiring American taxpayers to pay for abortions.
*Require states to allow “partial-birth” and other late-term abortions.
*Require states to allow abortions by non-physicians.
*Bar laws protecting the right of health care providers conscientious objection to performing abortion.
*Deny parents the opportunity to be involved in their minor daughter’s abortion decision
*Invalidate laws to protect women from unsafe abortion clinics
*Invalidate laws ensuring women are informed what abortion procedures actually entail.

In other words, this legislation does nearly as much to murder fundamental American liberty as it does the unborn.

The good Bishops, and the 54% of Catholics they sheparded toward voting Democrat, are now aghast that the leaders they elected into office have the audacity to assert the authority they have been given.

A vigorous POST CARD CAMPAIGN –always an effective tactic for bringing about sweeping change – has been launched in retaliation. Janitorial staff on The Hill have been alerted to expect a significant up tick in the need for recycling bin emptying in the coming weeks.

Some might find it incongruous that American Catholic leadership – so long of the conviction that health care is a “right” to be guaranteed to all by government – might now take exception to that government’s doing what governments do, particularly when in the hands of Lefties. Its enough to make one think American Catholic leadership is uninformed, historically vacuous, and embarrassingly gullible. But that can’t be the case. After all they have provided heroic leadership on such vital issues as climate change, open borders immigration, and funding ACORN …. Oops… we mean “community development.”

Despite our acidic cheek, we support the good Bishops in this particular aspect of their otherwise destitute political agenda. For this, in truth, is a matter of Life, Liberty, and death.

Cheers,

Charlie

Gitmo to Go - Aljazeera, Lefties tickled pink

Oh happy day for the oppressed, the persecuted, the abused, the misunderstood - Bush's gulag is set to be closed. Aljazeera brings you all the happy details!

Can't wait to see what Mr. Obama and friends have in store for us next!

Cheers,

Charlie

Standing Guard on a Cowardly World

“Today is 2,682 days since 9/11, 2001. … I want to thank George Bush for keeping this country safe in the interim seven years. That is an amazing achievement.

…He's willing to be hated for the rest of his life to do the right thing. And I just want to look in the camera. This is the last time I’ll be on this show when he's my President and my Commander-in-Chief and say, ‘Thank you, sir. I feel privileged that you were the President during this time in American history.’”

- Dennis Miller on the O’Reilly Factor, 1/15/09

Our Dear Mr. President,

Your watch is over good sir. Rest well. You have served with honor, courage, and dignity. An ungrateful world is better for your service. We shall miss you; too much we fear.

Kipling proves spot on more and more these days. This is another such occassion.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Thank you, President George Walker Bush.

Cheers,

Charlie

Keep the Entitlement Monster ALIVE!

“Only government can provide the short-term boost necessary to lift us from a recession this deep and severe. Only government can break the vicious cycles that are crippling our economy.”
- President-Elect Barack Obama

The President(s) of the United States are working tirelessly to extend more cash to the needy – be they profligate families, incompetent businesses, self-serving non-profits, tax-payer buoyed propaganda outlets, or corporate welfare queens.

We MUST keep the Entitlement Monster Alive!

Do your part. Support government stimulus of the economy, support unbridled unionism, support the expansion of the social safety net, support nationalized health care, and demand your rights as a dependent of the United States government.

Only thus can government of the people, by the people, over the people be restored.

Cheers,

Charlie