The Compassion Clowns

UPDATE: "This is a deep moral imperative to make our society more just. " - Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner on taxing the rich. You see, COMPASSION!

- ADVERTISMENT-

Desperate for work? Passionate about HOPE & CHANGE™ ? Got a rubber nose?

THIS MAY BE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU!

Churchill’s Parrot’s newly formed Social Justice Division has recently procured $15.5 billion through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. These revenues enable us to better fulfill our mission of affecting social change through emotional extortion.

Compassion Clowns will be trained in the use of:

*Incomprehensible legalese
*Scripture misrepresentation
*Hollywood-approved emotional manipulation techniques
*Strategic race-baiting
*Class warfare Ju-Jitsu

Successful Compassion Clowns will be expert at convincing average Americans they are barbarically insensitive, racist, jingoistic, homophobic misers deserving of all contempt.

NOW HIRING: The Obama administration anticipates rather the backlash when the American people realize their “Stimulus” was merely a Welfare State Spend-a-thon. Compassion Clowns will be needed as never before to ameliorate the situation through the employ of obfuscation, white guilt, and pseudo-Christian platitudes.

Do your part to advance Marxism, one guilty-conscience at a time.

CALL TODAY! Operators are standing by. Call 202-456-1111

“The way to America’s head is through its heart.”
- Charlie Churchill’s Parrot, Founder and President - The Compassion Clowns, Inc.

A Guide for Brave New Americans

"Consider how barren a philosophy is the creed of absolute Collectivism. Equality of reward, irrespective of service rendered! It is expressed in other ways. You know the phrase - "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." How nice that sounds. Let me put it another way - "You shall work according to your fancy; you shall be paid according to your appetite."

- Sir Winston Churchill, May 4, 1908, Kinnaird Hall, Dundee

Congratulations America, and welcome to the glorious international union of socialist republics!

We here provide here a quick guide as for what you are now in store; made simple (BIG PICTURES) for the kiddie-winkies and your left-leaning friends. Enjoy!

Cheers,

Charlie

UPDATE: A dire message from Mr. Edwin J Feulner, President of The Heritage Foundation

"For the last 35 years, educators and analysts at The Heritage Foundation have been intimately involved in the nation's great public policy debates. In all that time, we have never encountered legislation with such far-reaching and revolutionary policy implications as the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act currently before Congress. And never have we seen a bill more cloaked in secrecy or more withdrawn from open public exposure and honest debate.

-READ MORE (if you dare)

Read the Stimulus. HELP WANTED!

"Read the Stimulus" - $850 Billion, 1588 pages, and counting... somebody needs to read it! You can do so here: http://www.readthestimulus.org/ .

Moreover, you can help! The Read the Stimulus coalition is seeking assistance parsing the bill into their Google spreadsheet.

Put your bitter outrage, utter digust, and plummeting despair to good use - volunteer today!

Cheers,

Charlie