The Compassion Clowns

UPDATE: "This is a deep moral imperative to make our society more just. " - Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner on taxing the rich. You see, COMPASSION!

- ADVERTISMENT-

Desperate for work? Passionate about HOPE & CHANGE™ ? Got a rubber nose?

THIS MAY BE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU!

Churchill’s Parrot’s newly formed Social Justice Division has recently procured $15.5 billion through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. These revenues enable us to better fulfill our mission of affecting social change through emotional extortion.

Compassion Clowns will be trained in the use of:

*Incomprehensible legalese
*Scripture misrepresentation
*Hollywood-approved emotional manipulation techniques
*Strategic race-baiting
*Class warfare Ju-Jitsu

Successful Compassion Clowns will be expert at convincing average Americans they are barbarically insensitive, racist, jingoistic, homophobic misers deserving of all contempt.

NOW HIRING: The Obama administration anticipates rather the backlash when the American people realize their “Stimulus” was merely a Welfare State Spend-a-thon. Compassion Clowns will be needed as never before to ameliorate the situation through the employ of obfuscation, white guilt, and pseudo-Christian platitudes.

Do your part to advance Marxism, one guilty-conscience at a time.

CALL TODAY! Operators are standing by. Call 202-456-1111

“The way to America’s head is through its heart.”
- Charlie Churchill’s Parrot, Founder and President - The Compassion Clowns, Inc.

The Race of the Trojan Horses

In the race of the Trojan horses, we have entered, it would seem, the final stretch.

Those of us with eyes to see and optical nerves still communicating with the brain - our voices drowned out in the hysteria - have a decision to make: continue languishing in the grandstand, or make some fast money.

We recommend the latter!

And so we provide our analysis by which you might inform your wager. Which Trojan horse will be the first to bring about the final end of Western Civilization?

Tommy-Boy Tolerance – American President Obama’s call for defense cuts , days after the International Institute for Strategic Studies’ most recent report that Iran may have enough low-enriched uranium by the end of 2010 to build a nuclear bomb, have vastly improved this steed’s standing in the match. The action validates in no uncertain terms the United States’ renewed commitment as a staunch ally in Europe’s Tolerance Above All suicide pact.

Compassion Candy – Hot on Tommy Boy’s heels is Compassion Candy! 40 years of Marxist-conditioning are paying off as the U.S. Congress prepares to impoverish the *world’s strongest economy via the purchase of $825 billion worth of political pornography while convincing they American people they do so in the interest of “the common good.”

*(as of 30 January 2009 noon-ish)

Stewardship Sue – Record cold temperatures and snow accumulations can’t stop this one! With the weight of the world on her shoulders (and the fire of the Apocalypse in her heart) Stewardship Sue is the long-shot winner in this race, promising to devastate the American (ergo – the world’s) economy through iron-fisted control of the world’s resources, processed and distributed according to the dictates of The Unicorn’s Book of Sparkle Flowers … that is… global climate change policy.

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets. The race is on. The end is near. Good luck!

Cheers,

Charlie